Eid Mubarak: IshRa OS #Completed

Eid Mubarak

Rahman's POV

As I ignited the engine of the car, the engine of my mind seems to have ignited too bringing back lots of memories.

This was my first Eid without Romi. We used to choose a similar dress for the Eid prayer. Since he got his driving license, he would beg me that he would drive the car but I always denied fearing the safety of the family for I knew how roughly he drove.

On last Eid too, he had begged and I had rejected. Later when we reached the Eidgaah, I was frustrated on not being able to find parking and unwillingly I had to let him drive and park the car.

He had commented "Pehle hi kaha tha ke aap se nahi ho paayega. Par aap kahan maante ho"

"Theek hai mere bhai, maine haar maan li. Ab se Eid pe tu hi drive karna" I had given up.

The happiness that spread across his face on knowing that I would let him drive on every Eid moved me and I decided that henceforth I would not argue and let him drive.

Sadly, that didn't happen.

Every waking minute I miss his presence around me, I miss the pranks that we played together on Simmi, I miss our laughter when he cracked lame jokes, I miss the shoulder I used to cry on when we missed our mother, I miss everything about him, I miss him.

Does he miss me too?
Probably not!
I am a STEP brother after all and he had chosen to go away.

I had given him all the love I could.
I took care of his every need.
I taught him the values of humanity.
I gave him protection.

And I gave him freedom because I trusted him blindly.
I was confident that he would never go astray.
I believed that I had passed on those values to him that our mother had passed on to me.
May be I was wrong to assume so.
As he made me realise that I had failed being a parent to him.

He used to stay out overnight in the name of group study. I never stopped him looking at his dedication towards studies. I had begun to weave dreams about handing over our family business to him once he completes his post graduation. I never questioned him about his expenses as I was sure he knew the value of hard-earned money.

All my hopes, my dreams, my beliefs about him were shattered with that one incident.

I was disheartened when a business associate of mine brought him home in a drugged state. I was shattered to know that my little brother was indulged in drinking and drugs. I wouldn't have believed if I had not seen him like this, for he always used to return home in a sober state.

One by one the cards opened and I was introduced to the reality behind the overnight stays and his lavish expenses.
It was hard for me to believe that he was doing all these Haram* acts.

(*Prohibited acts in Islam)

The law in UAE was very strict and had he been found doing this by the police, he would be arrested for years and then deported back to India. The fear that I would not be able to save him from the punishment of law and the punishment of hell* was something that made me lose control and I reprimanded him not realising in which state he was.

(*Muslims strongly believe in the concept of heaven and hell. Indulging in Haram acts lead one to Hellfire)

"Ye kya kiya tune Romi? Maine tujhe har azaadi di thi. Aankh band karke tujhpe bharosa kiya tha. Mujhe tujhse ye ummeed nahi thi" I yelled.