Dimensional Suppression (Black Butler x Reader)

Attack of the Killer Thongs

"What are you guys?" You asked the four men in front of you. It was about the eighth time you've asked them this question.

"C...coosplayers." Muttered Alois, fiddling with the sleeve of his royal purple coat. He smoothed out the small wrinkles, a tinge of his nervousness showing through his slender fingers.

"No! It's CAWSplayers. Alois please, you're the only one who can't pronounce it." You said, exasperation lingering on your words like glitter that won't come off when you try brushing it away.

"The only thing here that can 'caw' is that crow over there." Claude stated, staring intently at Sebastian. Alex noticed how he refrained from calling him the crow demon, causing him to cast you a look. You shrugged, since you knew everything already.

"How about you all just ignore anyone other than me who tries to talk to you, alright?" You stated, very slowly I may add. You know what else was slow? The brains of these cross-dimensional dweebs.

They nodded in unison and began following you as you made your way out of Quasi Laboratories. Quasi stood for the Quantizations Unified with Astrophysics Scientific Institution. This laboratory not only worked on proving theories such as the Multiverse theory, but also assisted NASA in its discoveries of different planets and extraterrestrials. Also, the moon landing really was staged. Just kidding, or am I?

"What's that?" Ciel asked, pointing towards two hovering orbs made of metal.

"Those are balls of steel, something that no man, that I've met so far, have." You casually replied, glancing at Alex and continuing your prideful saunter. The workers in the lab nodded in your direction, respecting your presence. To think that when you first started working here, you were the one cleaning up the chemical spills. We all have to start from somewhere, right?

"Why is that glowing?" Asked Alois, referring to the screen behind him. You struck a pose, your hand gesturing towards your face.

"My skin is glowing because I use an organic face mask every morning."

"It's not working. Your face doesn't need a face mask, it needs a mask to cover that face." Alex joked, nudging you in the side playfully. Rolling your eyes, the six of you made it outside.

Due to your lab being top secret, along with your research, the location of the institute is fairly remote. One could look in every direction and see nothing but miles of emerald pastures. It was a soothing change of atmosphere from the busy aura in your work stations. Although you found science fascinating, it's not your whole life. You had a life outside of work, so in order to get from your lab to your home quickly, you developed a little something.

A special, aerodynamic jet capable of breaking the sound barrier for long periods of time.

"I know this is your first time, but that's okay. Just go right inside of her; she'll be fine, I promise." You stated, referring to your sleek jet as a she.

"Stop assuming the plane's gender and get in, pilot." Alex chuckled. His hand drifted to the small of your back in order to assist you getting into the jet. You thought nothing of it, but the other men saw it as a challenge.

"Remember the time I drove your carriage, Ciel and Sebastian?" You asked, looking back from your seat.

"Clearly. I'm still dizzy." Ciel scoffed, crossing his arms over his broad chest. He's still dizzy and you still can't get over how puberty graced his body.

"This'll be a lot worse." You winked, earning a secret snarl from Alex. The black butler men exchanged worried glances as you started your bad girl up. She let out a low hum as she rose from the ground in a more spectacular fashion than a phoenix would to its ashes. You grinned deviously, breaking the sound barrier faster than one could take in a second breath.

Once you've landed, Ciel's eyes were wild. Which is slightly ironic considering he's the queen's guard dog.

"We're here." Alex cheered, hopping out of the passenger's seat. He sometimes reminded you of a child, a cute one at that.

"And where is that, exactly?" Claude inquired. Claude ran his slender fingers through his cocoa colored hair. You wondered what else those fingers could do...

Like how fast they could tie shoelaces. It would be pretty impressive to tie them under two seconds.

You stepped out of your jet, the wind rushing past your beautiful locks of hair. "The mall." You said, breath exhilarated. You ushered the men forward and led them into the shopping mall like a warrior leading his men into battle.

Then again, who said shopping wasn't a battle?

Entering the mall, you quickly faced the men. "Listen, I'm cheaper than Mr. Krabs, so we're going to a store with a huge clearance sale. There will be savage ladies and men in there with no mercy; take what you want without second thought or it will be gone by the time you reach for it again. Understood?" You growled. They nodded, making you crack a smile and walk through the open doors of the store.

"Where's the rest of it?" Ciel asked incredulously, staring wide eyed at a pair of shorts so short that it was basically jean designed thongs.

"There is no rest of it." You snickered, shoving the shorts to the side to look at a nice black camisole. What else is there no rest of? Paula's body.

Whoops, that was too soon.

"It's absolutely perfect for me!" Alois cheered, bumping you out of the way with his hips to get to the shorts again. "Claude! Try these on for me!" Alois demanded in this public mall, holding out the shorts to Claude's stone-faced facade.

"Must I really, your highness?" Claude asked, discreetly glancing at the shorts with disgust. Alois nodded and tossed the "shorts" to Claude.

Claude sighed and slowly began to remove his pants. You were shocked, but simply stared with strong intensity as his pants fell around his ankles. His legs were hairier than the space between Frida Kahlo's eyebrows.

"Do something." Whispered Alex as he noticed people gathering.

"Just two seconds more, I could get a picture and use it as blackmail."

"____!" Alex whispered, more loudly this time. A whisper-scream, a whiscream.

"Right, right," You sheepishly replied, tucking away your phone in your bra. Cracking your knuckles, you silently made your way next to Alois. "Claude's hips aren't nearly as voluptuous as yours, it wouldn't do you just. Get a more suitable model, like yourself." You said, convincingly.

"By god, you're right! You'd be a much better model than Claude." Alois took a moment to place his hands on his hips, measuring them, then comparing the width of his to yours. "Yes...you're perfect."

"No." Came the immediate response from your lips.

"Yes." Said Alois. And Ciel. And Sebastian. Claude was a little too mortified of embarrassment to speak. Alex wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, so hard that you were surprised they didn't fall off.

Once a pervert, always a pervert, I guess.

"No, there's something called a changing room. You're gonna use it." You noticed Claude putting his pants back on, covering his caterpillar legs. Muffin didn't look as tasty anymore.

"No, you are." Alois said, smirking. He gave one look at Claude and before you knew it, you were locked in a dressing room with the thong in your hand. "You're not coming out unless you're wearing that."

You groaned, remembering that the dressing rooms in this store had normal doors, the ones without a gap below and above it.

There was no way this was happening.