**A/N: This will be one of they few that I want to put an explanation on before posting. You can skip this note if you want but I want to share my feelings that lead to this. I've been thinking a lot lately, and I've noticed I hurt everyone I'm close to. Just give it a matter of time and you'll see. This morphs from the feeling I feel about myself and my surroundings to how I feel knowing I'm going to hurt the one I care the most about. After telling you and you being so sure I never would hurt you. I don't want to mess things up, but I just know inevitably I will hurt you and I don't ever want that to happen. I will do anything to make you happy... Even if that means sacrificing my own happiness. **
Hurt You
I feel so alone,
Even surrounded by people
People I call ‘friends’
I’m not sure anymore.
I feel so lost,
I don’t know what to do
I don’t even know how to do it
How to act like everything is fine.
I feel so hurt,
You don’t notice
But that’s the point
For no one to notice.
I feel so confused,
What am I supposed to do
How am I supposed to deal
I don’t know!
I need help
I know I do
I just don’t want to ask
Don’t want to bother someone.
How long,
Until this skin is marred?
With small scars
That cut to deep.
How short,
Is my time left?
As my blood flows
And falls into the sink.
Why can I only
Think of you?
I’m sorry,
I know I’m hurting you.
I told you,
I hurt everyone,
In the end.
Why did I even hope?
And now,
I’ve hurt you the worse
More than anyone else
That’s my curse.
The more I love,
The more you hurt,
I should just lock myself away.
Then I can’t hurt you.
Then I can’t hurt anyone,
They can all live their lives
And be happy.
I won’t screw anything up.
I don’t know why
I thought this
Would be any different.
How naïve of me.
I’ve failed
I’ve hurt you
I’ve torn you down
And I can’t do anything
I’m sorry
I’m stuck
I’m lost
And not even you can save me.
This will ruin us both.
You’ll be worse off,
Because I’ve finally
Gotten used to the pain.
It’ll fade,
Just a little,
But a dull ache
Will always be there.
And you’ll always know.
It was because of me.
Please don’t forgive me
I don’t deserve it.
Not when I knew,
This would happen,
The entire time,
And I did nothing.
I should’ve stopped,
Stepped back,
Told you.
Ready?
I’ll take the bullet,
I’ll take the blame,
Whatever it takes
For you to be happy again.
I’ll leave,
Hide my face
I won’t remind you
Of the pain.
I hope you find someone
To make you happy,
That can love you
With all their heart.
And I hope
That they never
Hurt you
Like I did.
