Friends With Benefits

Bitter Memories

Copyright 2020 by TheShonelleAct

(Title and Cover may be subject to change) All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or any means, or stored in a database retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

I eyed myself up and down in the mirror. Since this wasn't a real date I didn't have to go all out. Even though in the pit of my stomach I felt like it was ever so slightly real and that made me more nervous than I have ever been.

   He told me to wear something simple so I did just that. I wore a graphic tee with some tight black skinny jeans and my chucks and pulled my long hair in a messy bun. The strains poked out and I tried my hardest to smooth it down. This was as casual as I possibly can get. He's lucky I didn't pull out my fuck-me-wedges. Now those are a treat for everyone.

  Sherry sat on my bed looking at one of my magazines. "Do you think I'm pretty Violet?"

  I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah of course why do you ask? Did... Michael say otherwise?" She quickly shook her head. "No its not that. It's just... well... Sometimes I just don't feel like it." I sat on the bed next to and her softly rubbed her back. I'm not the best when it comes to advice especially things like this. But I'll do what I always do that seems to work, tell her a story of something relatable that happened to me to remind her not everyone is much different.

  "When I was your age and younger I used to want to be a boy. That's why Elliot and I got along so well together. Mom used to give me this really short pixie cut and I wouldn't be caught dead in a dress. He was the biggest sport junkie and so was I. He didn't know at the time that the real reason for being that way was because I looked like a boy. I thought I needed to do "boy" things if I looked like a boy," I shook my head sadly. All those years hating and changing who I was were sad to look back on.  I shrugged my shoulders, "I never thought I was pretty enough to be a girl."

  Sherry looked surprised and gasped. "Are you kidding me? Your so gorgeous!" She gushed. I smiled and laughed. "You bet your sweet ass I am!' I exclaimed happily. "But I didn't know that before. Now I have the confidence to say that I am. Sometimes it takes longer for people to realize that and other times its a lot shorter. I don't care what anyone says there's no way Beyoncé didn't exit the womb flawless."

  She nodded taking my words in. "You're right, you are so right. But I have a question."

  I walked back to the mirror tackle the strands that refused to fall in line. "Shoot."

  "Why did you and Elliot break up again? I just remember you locking yourself in the room and not really being around much. You guys were such a cute couple."

  I froze my brush mid-air. I took a slow deep breathe and resumed brushing. I should just rip the band aid off and just tell her what I know." I honestly have no idea. Everything was fine one day and the next we broke up."

  She wrinkled her nose disapprovingly. "What an ass,"

  "True story." I replied with a nod.

Elliot and I got eventually closer when we realized how deep our feelings for each other really were. All the secrets we told each other before as friends became more meaningful when we were together. I told him how tough it was to raise Sherry all by myself and have to drop all of the things that I love the most. He told me how tough the divorce between his parents were for him and how it was a constant fight every night. It wasn't until a couple weeks before we broke up when they had finally split. It took a huge effect on our relationship.