Be As Chalant As You Like (Short Stories About Chalant)

12 Reasons To HATE Zatanna Zatara

Um, hello? I can't believe I'm doing this. Wally told me to make a list of things I hate about Zatanna to take her off my mind for good so, um, yeah. Hopefully this works.
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1.) I hate her voice. I hate that it's so loud and annoying. I hate that I have to listen to it ALL DAY LONG. I hate EVERYTHING above it her voice. (Maybe not everything but, ya know)

2.) I hate the way she dresses. I hate how her clothes are so "cute" and "stylish". I hate that they suit her so well. I hate that they make her look so pretty and attractive. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

3.) I hate her eyes. I hate that they sparkle when she looks at the sun. I hate that those blue irises are so attractive. I hate that her eyes make her look like an angel. I hate Zatanna's eyes so much.

4.) I hate her laugh. I hate that it's so cute. I hate that it makes me feel warm inside. I hate that it makes me happy. I hate that it's unique and and absolutely beautiful. I HATE that it's the prettiest laugh I've ever heard.

5.) I hate her smell. EWW. I hate that she smells like one of those cinnamon pumpkin candle things that most people like. I hate that when she fights crime and kicks butt, she still smells like cinnamon pumpkin candles. I hate that sometimes she'll leave her scent wherever she goes, it's so, um, annoying? Yeah, annoying.

6.) I hate her skin. I hate that it's so soft and warm. I hate that it's a nice shade of peach. I hate it because I mean, like she must get sunburn ALL the time, right? No? Whatever. But yeah, I hate her skin. I'm finished with this one.

7.) I hate her sense of humor. I hate the way she cracks jokes. I hate the way she makes other people smile from her jokes. And oh, I HATE when she makes her cheesy little jokes (okay maybe they're a little cute, to me). I hate everything about Zatanna and her jokes. I want nothing to do with her adorable humor.

8.) I hate the way she speaks backwards. Yeah yeah, "backwards is my native tongue blah blah blah," but it's so annoying when she speaks backwards. I can't understand anything she says, which I love, I mean totally HATE it, I totally do. I hate that she's smart enough to get all of those backwards words off her tongue. I hate it all.

9.) I hate that she has powers. I hate that I don't have powers and she does, which I'm totally fine, I mean not okay with at all. I mean, I have life hard and she can just make a drink appear in her hand and fly. It's so not gonna work out between us (no it won't) I mean we're opposites. And opposites don't even attract (yes they do).

10.) I hate that I'm allergic to her. Whenever I get near her, my stomach flutters and my checks get red. Like, I heat up and even get embarrassed. WHAT IS THIS SICKNESS!? Like seriously, maybe she should go to the doctor, she's got a contagious illness that affects me every time I lay eyes on her.

11.) I hate her smile, SO MUCH. I hate that it's warm and welcoming. I hate that it's adorable and so cute. I hate that I love her smile. I hate that I love it so much. I hate that it's the one thing that I will never EVER forget. It'll always be in my mind and memory. I hate that so much. I hate it so much.

12.) Finally, I hate that I love her. I hate that I will never stop loving her. I hate that we aren't even dating. I hate that so much. I hate that my heart has these strong feelings for her that I've never had for anyone else. I hate that she makes me happy and I hate that I want her to always be happy. I hate that I want to kiss her. And finally I hate that I love being as chalant as I like.