Junk Mail

Chapter Seven - Susanna, Stories and Stupidity

Ben and Pepe el watched the video with interest, as they sat on a patch of grass near where the van was parked. Pepe el even stopped eating his tenth burger, and handed it over to Ben who handed it over to Pepe el who handed it over to Ben, and they continued in this pattern throughout the time they spent watching the video.

On screen, Susanna smiled and gave a wave.

"Hi, I'm Susanna Ramirez," Susanna said.

"And how old are you Susanna?" a voice asked in the background, presumably whoever was judging the audition.

"I'm nineteen years old," Susanna replied. "And I'm here to audition for the part of Annalise in The Three Paupers and the Princess."

"Okay, Susanna," the voice said, pausing for a second. "I'm going to read Percy Pauper's lines in this scene, and we're going to be recording your audition. Don't be scared if I occasionally write down some notes. It's just to help me with the decision making process later on. Okay? Then let's begin."

"Percy!" Susanna cried immediately. "Percy, where have you been? A fire's broken out in the village and father is calling for everyone to help."

"A fire?" Fake Percy cried back. "But who started it?"

Susanna sniffed, wiping her snot on the sleeve of her dress. "I don't know. Everyone was celebrating the festival and some fireworks were being kept in a storehouse in the village. Father thinks they may have caused the fire, but quick! We need to go back and help. Father asked me to fetch you and the other men. You have to put it out before it spreads any further!"

Susanna carried on with what Pepe el thought was a very subpar performance. He had seen plenty of good actresses back in Mexico, and Susanna was okay but not the best.

Whilst Pepe judged Susanna with all his might, Ben ended up crying from the power of her acting. What a wonderful girl! Ben thought. She must've got up nice and early inside her little shopping trolley, and spent a long time cleaning her face with all the leaves and water she could find. Was that make up on her face? No it could only be the juice from berries, because Susanna was poor and lived in a shopping trolley.

Then Ben came to a startling realisation. A storehouse! Fireworks! Ben had set fire to a storehouse by accidentally setting off the fireworks! Could it be that the government was on to him, even though he'd led everyone out to safety and shown wonderful leadership skills? Ben realised that the government was almost certainly after him, and that Susanna giving him her audition tape must actually have been a clear signal from the government that they were on to him. He was going to have to become a fugitive! Ben thought. He was going to have to go on the run and then he would be a wanted man. People all over the world would see his face plastered on the screen, because local crimes tended to make it on to the big time, and little children from primary schools would laugh at him and paint red crosses over his handsome and unattractive face. All these thoughts nearly gave Ben a heart attack. Luckily, at that exact moment, Pepe el took his last bite from a burger and fell backwards on to the ground. Thus Ben was safe and the heart attack died down.

"Pepe?" Ben cried, a lone tear streaming down his right cheek. "Pepe, you okay buddy? You're not dead are you? Oh, Pepe! Pepe, you fool! You thought about everyone except yourself when you bought those gravestones and now who's going to hold a funeral for you? Oh, Pepe! You were a good man who will forever be remembered for the truly good truck driver and burger eater that you were. Pepe-"

"It's cool, Ben man," Pepe said, getting up into a sitting position again. "I just decided that I need to live a healthier lifestyle, so I just stopped eating the burger. The impact hit me real hard you know, Ben man? I had to lie down for a bit."