I know I'm insane

clarity

Dylan was bound in the chair, with white leather straps keeping him close to it as if he were sewn on. His head hung in a weak, half dead manner. He was unconscious.

That gave me willpower.

"Dylan!" I screamed, my rough voice scratching my throat. I thrashed against the guards' hold for the first time since I had tried to escape, and they were not prepared for my sudden urge to fight back.

They seemed to jump out of their dazes when I started kicking them, punching them, biting them (if I could), and screaming a creative stream of curse words at them. I didn't give up until I was out of their clutches. A dull, lifeless Dylan had triggered me, and my veins were suddenly full of adrenaline.

I sprinted to Dylan's side and tried to undo the straps. When I touched the chair, though, an electrical current buzzed through me. Not one that gave me more energy, but one that shocked me and hurt me. I blinked hard but continued to try to loosen the bounds.

The shocks continued to course through my body, making my hands shake and my head spin. My vision blurred and faltered at some points, but I eventually got the first strap off of Dylan's arm; just in time for the guards to cease me again. I noticed Dylan shaking in his chair, his eyes rolled up to the back of his head. It looked like he was on the verge of death.

"Stop!" I screamed as loud as I could. My voice was about to break, but I didn't allow it. The guards paused for a moment, but then continued to drag me over to the other chair. My body was shaking from the shocks and the pain. I couldn't even imagine what Dylan was feeling right know.

I fought back hard, but the people carrying me were physically stronger. Before I knew it, I was strapped to the chair, thrashing to get out.

"Is she secure?" asked a deep voice behind me. All of the guards nodded, looking over me and at the person, I'm guessing a man by his voice. Then I heard footsteps coming closer to me. I felt the presence of someone else right behind me. Next I heard a click, and I felt a barrel of a gun pressed to the back of my head. I stopped thrashing and relaxed my muscles. The guards looked confused.

"You tried to escape," the voice behind me said in an amused tone.

"Can you blame me?" I said back, using the same tone. I had to calm down. This was something that lying wasn't going to help get me out of. I needed to let this get over with.

The gun was pressed to my head harder.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked, as if I was stupid.

"A coward who hides behind his words and his gun, I'm guessing." Truth.

Those words must've triggered him. He pulled the gun away from my head and right next to my ear, firing it immediately. The bullet hit the white wall and made a dent, and the sound was ringing painfully in my ears. I heard the man reload and and the set it to my head again.

"I'm the president of this organization," he growled right next to my ear. I could hardly hear him from the ringing.

"You're doing a hell of a job, in that case," I replied, trying to keep my voice quiet and calm, even though I couldn't hear it.

"You don't like my methods?" he asked in a sarcastically concerned voice.

"Why did you think I tried to escape, dipstick?"

He pressed the gun deeper into my head. I'm going to die, I thought, casually. I heard him start walking away and the gun was taken from my head.

"Give her fifty shocks and then take her and the boy back to their rooms," I heard him say from behind me. Then I heard a door close. He was gone.

Soon the chair started heating up. I started feeling shocks that weren't as bad as I thought they would be. I was able to make it to 18 shocks without flinching, then the pain started kicking in. Even though the electricity was the same amount each time, my body became more and more sensitive to it.

By the time I reached my 43 shock, I was struggling to stay conscious. I was grabbing hold of the armrests and my trembling legs were straining against the straps. Everything went black when I reached 47.

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I woke up on the floor of my room, shaking violently. My vision was fuzzy and the smallest light seemed blinding. My head pounded and it felt like I had lost all control of my hands. The pain in my lower back was almost unbearable.

I laid there, dazed and violated, until I heard the door open. I tried turning my neck to see who it was, but the terrible stabbing pain wasn't allowing me to do so.

I heard a gasp come from the doorway. "No, not her too . . . " James said to herself, horrified. "Rose, Noah! Come here!" She screamed back down the hall and ran to my side. She knelt down next to me and waved her hands in front of my eyes.

"Can you see me?" James asked, frantically.

With every ounce of energy I had left, I whispered to her, "You're too skinny," and then passed out once again.

I woke up what felt like days later. James, Eli, Noah, and Rose were standing around me. My eyes fluttered open and they all looked at me.

"Oh, thank god you're awake," Rose exhaled and slung her arms around my shoulders. I hesitantly hugged her back and she pulled away, grinning. James gave me a small smile and Eli looked at me with a worried expression. Noah and I didn't even make eye contact.

"How many did they give you?" Noah asked, finally speaking up. James' and Rose's smiles vanished. All eyes were on me. I blinked hard, trying to remember.

"Uh, 50. I was out by 47," I told them. They all widened their eyes. I'm trying not to lie to them as much anymore. I guess it's progress.

"47!" Rose exclaimed. "I'm always out by 28!"

"24 is my limit," Noah said.

"31," chimed in Eli.

"I can never make it past 19," James told us.

I looked at them with horror. "Do they do that to everyone?" I asked and rubbed my forehead. Rose nodded sadly. My eyesight was slowly recovering from the shocks and I was just now studying her face. I never noticed how much makeup she puts in every day under her eyes to cover up the bags. She wasn't wearing any right now. It looked like someone had permanently etched faded blue and black ink into her skin under her eyes. She seemed to notice my staring.

"I'm sorry," she started. "I probably look like a zombie-"

"You look beautiful," Noah interrupted her. His eyes looked sincere and his face was tinted red, as was Rose's. They stared at each other, forgetting that they weren't alone. Eli coughed and the two of them were snapped out of their daze. They both looked at their shoes.

"So . . . um, what made them want to shock you?" James asked, tilting her head to the side. I thought quickly.

"I was talking back to one of the employees and they started freaking out," I stated. Lie. I think you already know the story. Then I realized the mistake I had made. Eli had been there. He knows what really happened.

"What? No," Eli said in a confused tone. "You tried to escape. Why would you say-" he stopped himself. His eyes widened and his mouth parted slightly.

And realization hit him like a brick wall.