I know I'm insane

not much better

Things kept getting worse as we got better.

James started eating more after I told her she was too skinny. She even asked for seconds a few times. But whenever she did that, the cooks would get mad. One night she wasn't in our room and she was the next morning, but weak and passed out. She told me that they made it clear that if she asked for seconds again she the shocks would be worse. We are becoming better friends now. She is like my sister. She told me how her mother was abusive and her father wasn't around. Her mother would tell her how fat and ugly she was until one day James passed out from lack of food. Her mother sent her here and then committed suicide 3 days after. Her father came back after he had heard what happened and tried to get James out of here, but they wouldn't let her go. I told her about what happened with my life. She listened. I also told her that she could have some of my food if she wanted, since I never ate all of mine.

Dylan went back to his normal, happy self after James started eating again. I am about 120% sure that he has a thing for her, judging by the way he looks at her. Dylan would also try to be next to James whenever he could. He hasn't had a scene since the first day I was here, but the thing is, he is a little bit reckless. He would run and jump over things and sometimes knock things down, and the guards didn't like that. They dragged him away two days ago when he left us to go get something from the lobby. They always take a person when they are away from everyone. When Dylan cane back the next day, he didn't want to leave his room and we didn't want to leave him, so we stayed in there all day. He told us about how his family died in a car crash, and how the top of the car was ripped off along with his parent's heads, and how he was the only one to survive, giving him post traumatic stress disorder. James looked at him with a little more sincerity after that.

We forced Rose to fall asleep that same day. She slept for the entire day and only woke up twice due to a nightmare. We took turns keeping an eye on her while she slept, so that someone would be there with her to comfort her is she woke up again. Noah told us that she doesn't sleep because her grandmother died a long time ago and her last words were to Rose, saying that her death was all Rose's fault. Her grandmother would haunt her in her dreams, so she stopped sleeping about a year ago. Her parents didn't know how to react, so they sent her here. He told us this while we, and James, got food for Eli, Dylan, and Rose, who were still back in Dylan's room. Noah also told us that he was bullied a lot, physically and verbally. One day some high school seniors slammed his head against a locker at his school, messing up his brain and giving him dementia. Rose is the one who helps him remember things when he forgets. I told him that I will help him too, and James agreed. He told us that one day he forgot who I was all together, so when he saw me, he acted very untrusting.

Eli's moods still fluctuate sometimes, but not as drastically anymore. He will get pissed a Noah for something stupid, but then we usually apologizes later. That would happen about 6 times a week. We are always able to calm him down before he starts screaming.

Stephen has been released. He pulled me aside one day in secret and told me that he was leaving the next day. I congratulated him and told him to be careful. He smiled and walked away briskly when he saw someone coming our way. That was my last conversation with him.

I had stopped lying to Rose, Noah, James, Dylan, and Eli all together. I only lie to other people if they try to get to far into my business, or I just walk away. I have been shocked twice again, 30 the second time and 20 the third time for 'inadequate behavior'. I made it through both time and got both the numbers tattooed behind my ear, right under the 47.

We spend most of our time in Dylan's and Noah's room nowadays. We only went out if it was mandatory and to get food, but even then we would go in pairs. Today, it was my turn to go get the food, along with James.

"So," I said, grabbing a plate and loading it up with as much food as it could hold.

"So?" she replied, doing the same thing.

"You and Dylan?" I asked and lightly nudged her small frame with my elbow. Her face turned red.

"What about us?" she asked shyly.

I gasped dramatically. "What do you mean, 'what about us'? He has been chasing after you and you are oblivious of it!"

She shook her head in embarrassment, trying to hide the small smile on her face. "He doesn't- , we don't-," I cut her off.

"Stop lying," I told her.

"I could say the same to you, but you seem to be getting better," she said, trying to get off the topic.

"I know. Don't change the subject," I said with an amused tone. She groaned.

"I don't know what to do!" she exclaimed. "No one has ever liked me before! I don't know how to act or flirt, or even kiss!" I smirked. "What?" she asked, confused.

"You are worrying over nothing. If he is flirting with you, flirt back. Don't confuse the poor boy; let him know that you like him back," I explained. She pursed her lips and nodded. The more she ate, the more fulfilled and happier she became. She usually wore jeans and sweaters that were beginning to fit her now, and her blonde are was turning slightly darker and the months grew colder. She looked beautiful. She was still incredibly undersized, though, so it wasn't like she was going to be released anytime soon.

We went back to the room with all the food. We we stepped in, everyone cheered.

"I'm starving," Dylan groaned. I looked over at James and winked. Her eyes widened and she looked at her shoes, obviously flustered. I chuckled.

As we all ate, we talked about things we missed about the world, things we didn't, and things we wish we would have done.

"I always wanted to learn how to fire a gun," Noah said. And ran his hands through his curly hair. Eli and Dylan laughed.

"What?" he asked. They laughed some more.

"You wouldn't be able to handle how loud it would be, much less shoot something!" Eli said through laughs. Dylan laughed even harder.

"Oh, come on! And you know so much about guns, yeah?!" Noah argued. The rest of us were laughing pretty hard, too. Things like this, little arguments and fits of laughter, made Yester much more bearable. It hurt sometimes, physically and mentally, being locked away, but Noah, Rose, Dylan, James, and Eli helped.

"You know, sometimes I wonder how my siblings are," I stated. Everyone went silent.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked.

"Well, my siblings and I were close back in my golden days," they laughed, "but they have yet to visit me. My parents would've told them 'no', but they would have come anyways. Or at least make an effort to come see me. But, you know, they haven't." Everyone was staring at me. "It pisses me off, though. I stood up to their bullies when we were little, and I did whatever it took to get them what they wanted. I don't know if it makes me selfish for wanting something in return, but . . . " I sighed. "I think I just set my standards to high."

"Um, no. Your siblings are assholes," Eli reassured me. I laughed.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said with a smile.

"That's the spirit! Besides, just because you are related to them doesn't mean that they're your family," he said with a smile.

Eli didn't have to say anymore. I knew who my true family was now. And they weren't half bad.

Everything was going as well as it could for a mental hospital.

Until the guards broke down the door and dragged us away.