Eunoia Magazine Issue #1

Depression

An Asse written by QueenStardust_
"My friends see me as that girl who's always happy, the perky one. I'm not, in fact. Because of them I now have more anxiety then I've ever had. What I hate the most about the way people see me, just because I go out and smile my ass off, doesn't mean when I'm at home I cry my eyes out. People think I'm an attention seeker by saying I'm depressed but I'm NOT. But honestly I've seen my friends on social media saying how there so depressed when their life is way better then mine, and I think "wow just stop. I wish I had your life your not depressed" and I'm being honest because when you grow up in society for so long, you start to listen to what they say is perfect/imperfect wrong/right and you start to think like that to. All of my friends are gone, just because we had no classes together this year and they all are terrible honestly. But the reason I'm depressed is because instead of moving on and trying to meet new people, I decided to dwell on the past and feel sorry for myself. But doing this made me feel so vulnerable and like I couldn't leave alone. That's not a way I ever want to feel. I never cut or had suicidal thoughts but I have felt so anxious and alone that I didn't find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. There's no one that's always happy and if your openly depressed on social media, your not an attention seeker. Depression is so complex it develops over time. It's not a Disney movie where one second your happy and the next your parents die and your locked in a tower for 20 years. You slowly get sadder and sadder. And my advice to anyone that is depressed is that no matter what anyone tells you, your worth life. Idgaf what people say about you, your perfectly imperfect in every way. You deserve to be happy and healthy inside and out."