A Shade Darker Than Damaged (twenty one pilots)

|Chapter V|

I stared at Ava's mom, in complete disbelief.

I wanted to die right there. Not because she was accusing me of murder, but because she was 100% correct in her accusation. I wanted to go to that party. I didn't want to drive. I killed my best friend.

Ava's mother looked different from the last time I had seen her. Her eyes were red and puffy, for obvious reasons. Her blonde hair was tied up, the same hair that Ava had. I couldn't rid my mind of the image of the last time I'd seen my best friend. So much red, so little blonde.

Her glare was hard and unforgiving.

"I knew I was right about you from the start. If it wasn't for you, Ava would still be alive! My little girl! You took her away from me!" She screeched, nearing my bed.

"I know."

She obviously wasn't expecting that. I was expecting her reaction, though.

"You know? You know?! You don't know anything! My only daughter is gone!" And then she started hitting me.

They were more along the line of weak punches. It made me feel worse when she started sobbing.

I didn't fight back. I didn't do anything. There was nothing wrong about what she said. I killed her daughter and I deserved it. I could feel her fist hitting my leg, but I didn't yell. It didn't feel nice but it was nothing compared to the pain of losing Ava.

"Hey, Snow W-Snow! We need some help in here!"

I was too far gone to reply to him.

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"Snow White, please be okay. Are you sure she'll be okay? She will, right?"

I made myself known by groaning loudly, suddenly feeling my new injuries aching. She probably didn't even hit me that hard. Mary needed someone to blame and I was the perfect candidate, that didn't make her a bad person.

"You're awake!" Cherry spoke, smiling warmly.

I nodded curtly, wincing as I attempted to sit myself up.

"Don't hurt yourself, princess," Tyler was quieter than usual.

"Are you okay?"

My question seemed to have caught him off guard.

"You just got beat up by some old lady and you're asking if I'm okay?" He laughed weakly.

"I'm okay, Tyler. I am."

He didn't believe me and we both knew it.

"Who was she anyway? She seemed to know you..." Tyler asked, leaning closer to my bed.

I only had a couple of bruises, but my leg ached from where it was bruised again after already being broken.

I sighed, rubbing my face.

"Ava's mother," I answered, tears filling my eyes.

I guessed that it was finally starting to hit me; how serious the situation was. My best friend was dead and her mother blamed me for it. I blamed me for it.

"I'll be back later to check on your vitals, Snow."

I nodded at Cherry, appreciating her decision to give Tyler and I privacy.

It was about time Tyler found out about Ava.

"So, obviously I was in a car accident."

Tyler nodded.

"You don't have to-"

"You deserve to know. Austen and I didn't know each other, but she came along because of my best friend, Ava. The night of the accident, I wanted to go to a party. Ava agreed to go with me, telling me she would be the designated driver. Something happened with Austen's boyfriend and she wanted to come with us. Austen and I were introduced because Ava worked with her last summer. Austen's boyfriend was drunk, he drove us off the road. He's fine. Ava...wasn't."

My chest was tight, almost cutting off my air supply. Tyler put his hand in mine, giving me a reassuring look. His face was trying to portray strength, but I could see the edges crumbling.

"She, uh. She was ejected from the car. She went out the windshield. All I remember is seeing her blonde hair on the hood of the car...all red. She died on impact," I huffed, allowing a broken sob to leave my lips.

He looked utterly miserable as I revealed this to him.

Tyler pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back.

"It's my fault, Tyler. I killed my best friend and I don't have anyone else now," I cried, clutching his gray tee tightly.

"You have me. You have Austen and Josh. Ava was not your fault, Snow White," he ran his fingers through my hair, pressing his lips to my forehead.

I breathed slowly, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck. He was the only comfort I had right now and I was going to take advantage of it.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to recover from this," I cried.

He held my chin so I was forced to look into his eyes.

"Yes you will, Snow White. You're going to help me with Josh and I'm going to help you with Ava and Austen. We help each other now."

His steady gaze locked with mine. From a distance his eyes seemed no more than brown, but when you were close enough and the sunlight hit his eyes just right, you could see bursts of gold that were immersed under a warm sea of regrets.

His eyes held such sorrow and regret that only disappeared when he looked at me. For the only constant in my life, he was doing pretty good.