So on the topic of Noah, and messaging Megan, I did message her again with a question.
My mind was wandering, and I asked her if Noah did actually send the Briella account a pic of him shirtless (a dick pic).
I specified the aspect of his dick because I've seen pictures of Noah shirtless, and I don't consider shirtless pics nudes.
And so Megan said yes. Doesnt remember the context, but she remembers seeing that.
And in that moment I felt a breath of emptiness. And only a breath. Because I will not allow that situation to take any more emotion and pain from me than just a single breath.
I let it go.
I refused to let myself think of my past, in that moment. Because whatever happened, happened. And I didn't want to be upset over it anymore.
Writing this now, however, the slight pain does flood back. Valentines day. When Noah asked Ellie to be his valentine.
I felt so much that day. I could eat, sleep, talk for that matter. I was numb.
But in being numb, I've allowed myself to forget that pain.
But back to the conversation. I still didn't believe it that Noah sent the nudes. Not that I didn't believe Ellie. Everything about that situation points to the fact that Noah did do it. He said "don't tell Miley", Ellie sent me a screenshot, but the dick part if the picture cropped off.
Yet, I still can't believe that my Noah would do such a thing.
But I guess that's exactly it. Maybe he was the type to do that.
My doubt stemmed from the fact that why would he just send nudes to a random girl out of no where? Like why not to Ellie at least? Why suddenly, in a heartbeat to Briella.
So I guess Meagan doesn't remember the context if why it happened. Or maybe she doesn't want to tell me.
If I were to make an assumption, Briella must have flirted, or said she would send nudes back. That it the only logical reasoning I have for why this fuckboi would jump to sending nudes.
I really don't know. Its stupid, irrelavant, petty.
