ShipShots

Nonsense

"Yes, it worked. This'll gonna be hella fun!"
"I agree. Imma need this right now after everything that happened..."
"Yeah, I know. I mean it didn't affected me as much as you guys but I'm happy to get to help you guys. You really need some time off now."
"That would do good on us, I guess. I'm really looking forward to your visit, we haven't seen each other in ages."
"Right, right. I hope I can cheer Ryan and Matt up a bit for that hit them really hard, didn't it?"
"It indeed did. They really had no clue what was going on and it was shocking for all of us. They doubt themselves now and, to be honest, so do I. I mean, I knew him as well and it really gets to me that I didn't noticed because you know how I want people to be happy and I thought I could sense something like that, the sadness, the depression."
"I know, I know. Like, how often do we hear that we changed somebody's life or got him out of depression, prevented him to kill himself? And still there are some cases where we just weren't able to help and that's just mind boggling."
"You are so right. I'm just happy to have you here soon."
"Always, Markimoo."
"See you then, Jackaboy."
They hung up and Jack printed out his ticket to Los Angeles for the next day.

Mark hadn't known when Jack would arrive in America so he decided to call him.
"Jack?" "Mhm." He sounded tired. Maybe because Mark hadn't thought of the time difference.
"What time is it where you are? Did I wake you up?"
"Ah, no. It's like 2 pm." "What? That's impossible, it's 2 pm here in L.A."
"Yeah right. And I would really appreciate if you could help me with my bags because I'm fucking tired and the taxi driver gets impatient."
Mark ran towards his door and opened it. And for real, there was Jack standing at a cab's trunk, already loaded with luggage, struggling to keep the phone pressed against his ear.
"Would you mind now, you prick!" Jack exclaimed yelling, asking for some help.
Mark immediately hung up, stuffed his phone back into his pocket and hurried to help Jack. He took the remaining bags from the trunk and closed it.
"Have you paid him already?" Mark asked gesturing towards the driver. "Yeah, fucking 80 dollars."
The cab drove off and they both went inside to just throw Jack's stuff in the hallway, Mark noticing Jack to be too tired to walk them upstairs.
"That was a long ass journey. We had a delay on the plane due to turbulances, they can be glad I didn't throw up."
The both of them plopped down on the couch while Mark listened to how Jack's travelling went.
"You didn't tell me you were going to come this soon. Why did you anyways?"
"Well, I couldn't stand you being unhappy and I wanted to help you as fast as I could. Sadness doesn't suit you, Mark."
"Thanks man. I really appreciate that you came all the way from Ireland to support us."
They smiled at each other but there was still something in the air that dragged them down and they exactly knew what it was.
Just a few days ago, Daniel from Cyndigo, his channel with Matt and Ryan, commited suicide. Of course, Jack hadn't known him as well as Mark, Ryan and Matt so all he could do was somehow comfort them in their loss.
"Always Mark. You needed me and as a friend it's my duty to be there for you, no question."
Mark let his head fall back and looked up to the ceiling.
"It's just weird. Like, my dad died of a disease and I couldn't do anything but this..."
"You couldn't have done anything either. He hid it from you guys, very well so. Maybe he didn't want to bother you, you know. All busy and everybody having their own problems and somehow he ended up having no one to talk to. That's how it goes. You tell yourself that you haven't got anyone to open up to and in the end you locked it all up inside of you until you burst. Some people burst in form of a burn out, others just freak out and others again..."
Mark lifted his head again. He was confused. That was pretty specific.
Jack yawned. "Hey buddy, I know you're feeling down now but I got a hell of a jet lag. Would you mind if I get myself some sleep before I rudely nap away while we're talking?"
"No, go ahead and sleep on the couch for now so you don't have to take the stairs. I can tell you're pretty exhausted."
"Thanks, homie." Jack mumbled as Mark got up and he almost fell asleep right away.
"No problem, bro." Mark replied quietly and left for the garden.
It was peacefully silent and everything seemed so calm. The opposite of Mark's feelings. He was completely upset on the inside, screaming and weeping and punching everything that got in the way. Punching himself in the face for haven't done anything. Feeling more helpless than ever because it was already too late to help although he wanted to so bad.
Before he could maintain himself silent tears ran down his cheeks. He tried not to sob in order to let Jack get his sleep.
His shoulders trembled as did his hands and soon his whole body shaked.
He couldn't see nor hear Jack getting up. Jack was still sleepy and didn't quite know what he was doing but he walked over to Mark. He ran his fingers through his friend's red hair and wiped away a tear drop that was daring to fall from Mark's chin.
The other looked up into bright blue sleepy eyes that gave him the feeling of comfort and safety.
"What's the point in all this? There has to be a reason, doesn't it?" He whispered.
"Nonsense." Jack replied with a raspy voice. "This is absolutely nonsense, all of it. It is nonsense that suicidal people aren't heard, it's nonsense that Ryan and Matt lock themselves up, it's nonsense that you make yourself feel guilty about something you couldn't prevent from happening and it's nonsense that you are absolutely fucking adorable when you cry. What you are for me is absolutely nonsense but every feeling in the world is nonsense for us because it isn't something within reach. They come and go and make us do nonsense things like spending half of my money to fly over an ocean and almost a whole continent to comfort you in your desperation. Just because I'm in love you. So don't search for any reason or explanation. People just do things and most often unreasonable ones."

There was silence after Jack's little speech. Mark's tears stopped, his eyes widened and he just stared at his "Irish potato" as he liked to call him from time to time.
Did he just say he was in love with him? Well, great, there was another topic Mark had to worry about.
"Come on now buddy. Let's go and play some unreasonably stupid game and make nonsense together."
Jack took Mark's hand and pulled him into his recording room.
"What game?" "I don't know." "Alright so, ene mene moo, I'm gonna play a game with my Mar-ki-moo." Jack's finger landed on- and what else should it be- Super Mario Maker. He let out a light chuckle and Mark couldn't help but notice how cute it actually sounded. He was sure that Jack would help him through all of this, as a friend or as a boyfriend, he didn't know yet. But he had his tendencies.

Yep, Imma leave it like that. But you guys all know anyways which option Mark tends to choose, right?

X*x hailey