The Secret Holder

XVIII: Tripping

X

TUESDAY

When Scott and I are walking the halls at school, the reality of the recent events begins to set in.

"So what did he say?" Scott asks eagerly.

I only mention what I know Scott is asking about. Everything else is between Stiles and me. "He told me that he couldn't remember anything that well,"

"But he was awake?"

"Yes, conscious. Do you think they were looking for something?"

"I think we both know who injected Stiles...and she probably wasn't looking for anything...just exercising power,"

"But she didn't kill him."

"She could've."

I see Kira walking up to us, and I rush over because I haven't seen her since I heard about what happened. "I'm sorry," I give her a hug, because I don't know what else to say.

"Thanks, Lydia," she smiles weakly. Scott holds out a hand to her, and she takes it. His other hand on her back pulls her closer to him.

What I would give to have that...With Stiles, I mean. Not Scott...obviously.

The classes that I have before lunch are dull. I try to focus on what I'm hearing. The class that I enjoy the most, my science class, simply disappoints me. Genome engineering is irrelevant. I guess that I knew that my classes in school wouldn't miraculously be able to help me with the LSD mystery.

I don't eat anything at lunch.

I notice Scott's raised brow in my peripheral vision. "Why the long face?"

"Ha-ha, very funny...I'm just tired...And I was thinking about how I should spread my mother's ashes soon." I rest my head on my hand, and look out at empty space.

"I get it. I tell you what, this Saturday when we're done packing up your house, we can get out of here."

"What do you mean?"

"We can just drive outside of Beacon Hills, and you can tell me when to stop along the way."

"That doesn't sound so bad...Kira doesn't mind you leaving town?" I look around to ask her about it, but she's nowhere to be seen. "Where is Kira, by the way?"

"She went home...she wanted to spend some time with her dad. She said something about having space over the weekend anyway." Scott looks down at the table. "I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'll give her what she wants..."

"I'm sure what happened has been hard on her. She probably just wants some time to process the situation and get some closure...You know?"

"Yeah...I want that for you too."

FRIDAY NIGHT

"So where are you guys going?" Sheriff Stilinski seems somewhat concerned, despite the fact that Scott and I are leaving town when his son is in the hospital.

I roll up a wrinkled pink t-shirt, and stuff it into my backpack. "We don't know. It's supposed to be kind of a spiritual experience. Scott will just drive out, and then we'll just spontaneously decide where we want to stop."

"That sounds-"

"Dangerous, I know. It sounds strange, but I think that's the only way I'll find the right place for my mom..."

"I understand that, but do you and Scott both have legalized drivers' licenses?"

I place my hand on his shoulder. "Yes. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. Just focus on Stiles, and try not to work too hard, okay?" I pass him in the hall, and make my way down the stairs.

"Drive safely!" Stilinski yells as an afterthought.

"We will!"

The door closes loudly, and I embrace the crisp evening air. The sun is low in the sky, creating a strong red glare on my windshield. The drive to my house is peaceful, but I know it will be my last.

...

Most of the boxes that I am keeping have been transported back to the Stilinskis'. The boxes remaining are things that I am donating, or things that I don't know what to do with yet. Scott told me he'd be here by six in the morning tomorrow to help me take what I am donating to the Salvation Army.

My eye lingers on the last box that I am undecided about. I lift the two panels and immediately recognize the box as the candles. Oh, the candles. My mother was a candle maniac. She would collect one for each holiday, and write the year on each one. I won't keep all of them. I set aside my three favorite candles. The first is a pink Yankee candle named "Fresh Cut Roses" from the day of my parents' wedding. The second is "Winter Garden", a white candle from Yankee that I gave my mother for her birthday last year. My mother gave me the third candle on my birthday this year. It's called "Lily of the Valley", from Bridgewater. Everything is decided. I'm ready to leave this house.

An incoming call from Scott interrupts my thoughts. "Hello?"

"Hi Lydia. Are we still on for tomorrow morning?" Scott's voice sleepily asks.

"Yeah...I'm just finishing packing up." I tape close the box of the remaining candles.

"Okay. I'll see you later."

"Bye."

Scott sounds so tired. I hope that our little trip isn't going to run him down. I'll offer to drive first.

I pop open a can of Pepsi and mentally thank Stilinski for not letting the police department leave yellow crime scene tape all over my house. However, when I walk over to where it is assumed that Stiles was injected, there are markings on the floor, outlining footprints and dimensions.

They're dry-erase, I tell myself. They probably had a black light in here to detect LSD on the floor. Who am I kidding? Who is actually going to want this house?

And Scott thinks that the Desert Wolf was the one to inject Stiles. But why? What does she want with him? Unless...she's trying to destroy Scott's pack from the foundation. Stiles is exceptionally important to Scott.

...

SATURDAY MORNING, EIGHT THIRTY-EIGHT A.M.

Scott playfully elbows me. "Don't go falling asleep on me now,"

"I'm not," I tell him, my eyes closing.

"Come on. You have to tell me where you want to stop,"

We are about an hour out from Beacon Hills. I don't know where we are, but it looks a little different. Good.

I see a heavily wooded area that reminds me of the Beacon Hills Reserve, and I ask Scott to stop.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asks.

"Um...thanks, but I think I have to do this alone."

Scott nods, his eyebrows furrowed, but his mouth turned up in a small smile. This is his good-luck send-off, I'm sure of it.

I step out of the car with the container and walk down a path with tall trees and tiny yellow flowers. I know she'd like this place.

A gust of wind picks up and blows straight through me. My hands shaking, I take off the lid of the container and stick it in my pocket.

"Natalie Martin...a loved...well, once loved," I laugh nervously, the tears already beginning to fall. "wife, mother, and daughter. You raised me. You cared for me. You loved me. You were there for me...and sometimes...I couldn't see that. I'll always miss you. I'll never forget you. I'll never forget the sacrifices you made for me. I...I hope...I can do you proud. I love you, Mom. May your soul rest peacefully," I let the ashes fall, and the wind carries them.

I take a shaky breath, and wipe the tears away. I turn around to walk back to the car, when another powerful gust of wind pushes me forward, guiding me in the right direction.