Raising Brooklyn (Sequel to Baby on Board)

three

Maya POV

After talking with Lucas, I couldn't fall back to sleep. I rolled over to look at the clock. 2:00 a.m. I sighed and got out of bed. I walked passed the nursery and peeked my head in. Brooklyn was asleep in her crib. I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. As I was waking back to my room I passed the bookshelf. I was never a big reader but one book caught my eye. I walked over and grabbed the book that was laying on top of the shelf. It was the baby book my mother had gotten me for christmas. I flipped it open and quickly realized it was empty. I sighed upset with my self. I walked over to the couch with a pen and began to write in the book. I added a few pictures too. I flipped back to the front cover. It was blank. I quickly grabbed my colored pencils and markers and began to draw. I drew three figures. Brooklyn, Lucas and I. I made to make the drawing very detailed. I stepped back and admired. I smiled to myself thinking that this is the goal. All the drawings were happy and had big smiles on their faces. I hoped for this to be the real us.

"What are you doing up so late?" Lucas said groggily has filled a glass of water.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to start a new project."

He walked over and sat on the couch next to me. He picked up the book and flipped through the pages. He then admired the cover.

"Its beautiful Maya."

I looked back down at the drawing and ran my hand over it. I smiled as I looked up to Lucas.

"I've missed that smile." He said

"Me too."

"Maya, what is it that your upset and worried about? Why aren't you happy?"

The question struck me and I got to thinking. For weeks I had been saying the reason I am always upset is because I'm not a normal teenager anymore but I'm starting to feel that I'm using this as an excuse to cover up the real reason.

I looked up at Lucas and when I looked in his eyes I knew I could tell him the truth and he wouldn't judge me. He would help me. I finally realize that it is okay to except help from other people. Before I was so independent. I never had anyone to help me or to stand by me but now, I have a family.

"I guess I was scared that I wouldn't be good enough. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I barely had a mother of my own. I didn't have a role model or someone to take care of me. I had to do it all by myself and I guess because having half  a mom is all I know, I'm being half a mom. Not a full one."

"Maya you are not your mother. You are so much more than that. You are a mom. You were a mom since the moment you laid eyes on her. I saw you in that hospital. The second that nurse gave her to you. Everything about you changed. Everything became maternal. You-"

"But I don't know how to be a mom. I've never really seen how a mother raises a child. All I've seen is a father leaving and a mother working so many shifts shes not even there."

"Maya, the only way for you to know what your doing is to do whats best for Brooklyn. You are going to make mistakes. But every mother and father in the world make mistakes. We just have to do our bests and our bests are whats good for Brooklyn. So I don't want you to think that you are not good enough. Your the best mom I know."

"How can I be the best mom if I have barely been a mom? I've been like my mom. Even though I'm not working lots of shifts its still like I'm not here."

"Then fix it."  As those words left Lucas' lips we heard a cry coming from Brooklyn's room. Lucas stood up but I stopped him.

"Let me get her." I said and he sat back down.

I walked into the nursery where Brooklyn was crying. I picked her up out of her crib and rocked her back and forth to get her to stop. She still continued to cry so I checked if she needed to be changed and tried to give her a bottle.

She was still crying and screaming at the top of her lungs. I grabbed steadied her head as I repositioned her and my hand felt hot. I quickly began to worry and placed my hand on her tiny forehead again. She was burning up. I ran out of the nursery with Brooklyn in my hand to Lucas.

"I think shes really sick. Shes burning up." I handed her to Lucas and ran to grab the thermometer. I quickly returned and checked her temperature. As I suspected shes had a very high fever.

"Should we take her to the emergency room? Should we call the doctor? What should we do?" I asked panicking pacing back and forth.

"Umm I don't know! I guess try calling the doctor and see what she says."

I picked up the phone and dialed the number. It rang and rang before going to voicemail.

"The office isn't open until the morning." I sighed

"Uhh um okay. Well what do you think we should do?" He asked panicking

"I think we should take her to the emergency room just to be safe." I said as I grabbed Brooklyn from him. He nodded his head and grabbed the car keys. I followed him out the door with Brooklyn. As I buckled her into her car seat I looked at her with worry in my eyes. I silently prayed for her to be okay. I kissed her burning hot forehead,

"Mommys here babygirl. All of me."