How Did I Miss Your Tears?

What Changes The Way You See Me?

Nagisa's POV

I could feel the tears running down my face, and I tried my best to wipe them away, but they were quickly replaced by more.
Karma had gone too far today, especially because he knew that my mother treated me like a daughter. He knew about how she pampered me and called me a girl.
She was the first monster I had ever come across.
Karma was the second.
I jumped up from where I was laying in the grass next to the bench, pushing past the three boys who were walking away from me. I didn't want Karma to see me crying. That would be admitting defeat.
I ran across the open area towards the parking lot, hoping no staff would notice me. I had to get away.
Luckily, I didn't live that far away, and, because I was running, I made it home in five minutes, panting and leaning against my front door. I fumbled with the lock, my fingers shaking, before managing to open the door.
My mother worked all day, so I assumed she would be at work. I assumed wrong.
The moment I stepped into the living room, quizzical blue eyes turned towards me. Then they brightened.
"Nagisa! What a surprise! You're wearing a dress!" My mother stood from where she was typing rapidly on her laptop and came over to me. She grabbed my shoulders before I could escape, turning me slowly. A sick grin was on her face as she played with the loose strands of hair sticking out of my bun. "You look lovely, honey. You should dress like this more often." She cooed.
I yanked myself away from her, wiping the last tears away. "I'm a boy, Mom." I growled, glaring at her and ignoring the urge to bolt as quickly as possible.
Her eyes flickered with darkness. "Ah, Nagisa. Never talk back to your mother." Her tone had changed, and she took a menacing step forward. "Now come with me and we'll go dress you up in something else!" She snatched my hand and pulled me towards her room, which was where she kept all the dresses she bought for me that I had refused to wear.
Fear kept me from pulling away.
My mother took me into her room and opened her closet, revealing rows of her clothes and my 'clothes.'
I realized she didn't even care I had left school early. She cared more about my appearance and her desire for a daughter than my grades, which surprised me. My mother tried to blackmail the principal once, when I got a C on a test.
With that crazy smile on her face, she whipped out a short red dress and held it up against my quivering body. "Look at how darling you look in that, dear! Go try it on now!" She shoved me towards the bathroom, before fully pushing me in and slamming the door with surprising intensity.
I wanted to cry again. I wanted to scream. I wanted to escape. But I was trapped. She would yell and scream if I didn't do as she asked, so I reluctantly slid out of the stupid schoolgirl costume, cursing Karma with each movement, and putting on the dress.
It fit tightly, and I felt like I couldn't breath. The dress left little to the imagination, and I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror in horror.
My breath hitched as the door was opened and she swooped over me, chiding and fussing in a light tone, though the hidden threats didn't go unnoticed.
I was still shaking intensely; my knees were going to buckle, I just knew it. I leaned against the sink to remain standing, my eyes still glued to my reflection.
What was wrong with me being me? Why did everyone want me to change, or didn't see me as a boy?
I glared at my face. Why did I look like a girl? Why couldn't I have been born a girl? It would have made eveything easier and happier.
My mother's hands were gripping me tightly by the shoulders, feeling the dress' material. She was still smiling brightly and fixing small bits of me; my hair, my posture.
I snapped.
"Let me go!" I cried, pulling away and managing to escape back into her room. I fought the tears, especially as her face darkened. "I'm a boy, okay? I'm a boy! Treat me like one!"
"Nagisa... I thought I told you, don't talk back to your mother!" She was like a beast, growling at me and reaching out for me.
I shook my head, backing away slowly. "No, no. Listen, Mom. I—"
"Shut up!" She screamed, cutting me off. Her tone dug into me like knives, and I flinched and tripped over a laundry basket in the middle of the floor. "You will never understand how I feel! My mother wouldn't let me do anything! Anything! The least you could do for your poor mother is entertain her, huh? You're such a worthless brat! You have no gratitude for anything I've done for you!" She was screaming like crazy, arms gesturing wildly as she advanced on me.
My stomach was in knots. I was frozen in place, fear leaving me there.
She was gonna kill me.

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A/N: Don't forget to leave feedback on thw chapters! I really want to know if you like them or if you think I should change them in any way! Should they be longer? Shorter? More detailed?