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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ♡

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ♡

no offense but i want to set you on fire

are you an iPhone 5c cause you look cheap and plastic

I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers...because I can always count on them

My teacher won't email me back is this the friend zone

theres someone downstairs i hope its a murderer

the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself

oh yeah baby ignore me harder

WOW THIS REALLY WORKS!!!!!!!

-develop crush

-die

Don't cry because its over

Cry because you're ugly

what a beautiful day for murder

if ur looking for me i'll be in the trash

*goes up to podium at a funeral for a eulogy* *tears up* you... you know she dead

To the Window

To the Wal(mart)

now taking applications for my gang, please have your mum sign your permission slip and return it in by next wednesday

what doesn't kill you doesn't kill you

there's a me in lame for a reason

did it hurt? when u fell from someones butt into the toilet water u piece of shit

*moves chair over to the left* interior designer

*throws a clock at you* time flies when you're in a coma you lil bitch

how to kiss a boy

-grab his waist

-slip your hand in his pocket

-steal his wallet

-dont even kiss him

-just run

cool and hip compliments to give 2 ppl

-u look cute like a nice bowl of yummy noodles

-i love your writing it reminds me of nice summer days

-your eyeliner is so neat and sharp it could probably dismantle the patriarchy

-you look like a queen of something cool like sharks

-if you were a test I would put a happy sticker on you

-you look more beautiful than a nice flower

*black people with guns*

white people: criminal thugs!!!!!!

*arab people with guns*

white people: terrorists!!!!!!!

*white people with guns*

white people: well you know, that's our second amendment right. so...

girl are you a fox because i don't know what the fuck you're saying

when my fridge is empty so is my heart

the first step to robbing a bank is picking out a cute outfit

will you marry me? lol its for a friend

oh yeah baby im going to look at you so hard tomorrow in class

im not like other teenagers, im 51

single and ready for a pringle

*sees spider* should i try to kill it or should i just kill myself

*me at funeral* so do u guys come here often? cause this place is like, a total downer. u see that guy? hes dead

one guacamole is equal to 6.0221415×10²³ guacas

Me: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

wtf is homecoming?? who is coming home??? where have they been??? did they bring souvenirs??

i think I'm probably worth a good 32 cents probably

"pass me a joint"

i rip off my arm, crying as i pass the detached extremity to my friend

you cant spell school without i want to stab myself

ur insecure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

i kno what for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ur a bitch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

♡ when ur crush texts u cute things like "who is this" and "how did u get this number" ♡

If you can't blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit

r u a math problem because ur making me cry

single bells, single bells, single all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride nothing because I'm single, and no one wants to love me.

why follow your dreams when you can follow me on tumblr

if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple

ill pay u $7 to have a crush on me

I smoked one alcohol and my left arm fell off

dang girl are you my appendix because I don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

a b c d e f g

I want food inside of me