Schizoaffective [h.s.]

Chapter thirty-eight

Hospitals. They are hell. Well to me at least. There is always someone in here dying. Or on the course of dying. Usually when your in the waiting room there are people crying. I thought the day I left the "crazies" hospital I wouldn't see one for a while. But then that one day happened. Then that day I thought would be the last time. It seems like every time I end up at hospitals I tell myself it would be the last. But I guess I can't run away from here.

"Hello Jamie! What brings you here?" The nurse behind the counter says smiling at her but as soon as her eyes come in contact with mine her smile falls a little but she tries to cover it up with a little scrunch of the face to make it seem like she did a "cute" laughed. I look away and roll my eyes.

"We're here to see Dr. Grayson" my aunt says back to her and then looks around for him. The nurse behind the counters nods and then searches for an appointment in the computer for a little.

"Ah yes. Emma smith?" She looks at me and I just nod at her not wanting to speak.

Welcome back

I look around and my head drops. What if my aunt brought me back here to leave me here? Like my dad and sister did.

I'll make you stay if it's the last thing I do bitch

I scrunch my eyes trying to think of different things instead of them.

"come on Emma lets go to the waiting seats" I feel my aunt grab me and helps me to a seat and I gladly take it.

Open your eyes and look at your home. Didn't you miss it?

I shake my head hoping they saw it because I really didn't want to speak to myself in front of all these people.

What was that?

I shake my head again.

Speak! Yes or no!

"No" I scream a little and open my eyes to see some people are looking at me and thinking immediately that I'm a crazy person. Well that didn't take long.

"Emma smith?" A different nurse says from a clip board and my aunt raises and helps me up.

"Hi I'm nurse Lisa. Follow me right this way. Dr. Grayson is waiting right over here for you" she directs us through some double doors and I see my uncle down the hall. He puts his pager down and walks over to us taking the clip board from the nurse and thanks her.

"Good morning" he says to the two of us and then continues our walk. I follow behind them taking my time and look around at all the people. That's when I come across a room and hear a person screaming from the other side which makes me flinch and back away.

That'll be you when I'm done with you

I cross my arms to keep my body close to me for comfort and catch up to my aunt and uncle.

"Right in here" when we walk in I see a machine and I know immediately what it is. I start to back up from it that's until my back hits something and it wasn't a wall. I turn around and it's like my breath is ripped right from my lungs.

"H-hey" he says nervously and pulls me into his chest for a hug. It's like automatically my body molds into his. I feel safe again. It feels like it's just the two of us and I am me again. That's until he lets go and everything's slips away. And I'm not me anymore.

"H-Harry" I finally say.

"You look...different" he pushes a piece of my hair away from the face and it makes me feel like a freak. "But still beautiful as always" he says fixing my frown into a slight smile.

"We'll give you two a little time. We're gonna move to the room right up there" my uncle points to the window above this room with all the computers and I nod to him. With that they both exit.

"So Emma. Your aunt called and told me what's going on" those words make my head fall "but that's why we're are here. To fix it" he pulls my head up to look at his beautiful emerald eyes.

"I want you to h-help me but you just c-can't Harry" I say backing up from him and shaking my head.

"Why won't you just let us try?" He says walking a little closer.

"Because I've d-done this all before. When I-I was little. And n-nothing popped up on these stupid t-tests. That's why I won't l-let you." I let out looking at the huge machine and back at Harry.

"But see that's when you were little. Your not little anymore. You grew up so maybe just maybe something could've changed" I just shake my head at his words. I don't want to go through all this again and get my hopes up but then have them crushed again with news telling me that I'm basically screwed.

"I-I can't" I shake my head at him and stare down at my well what looks like a lifeless body.

"Emma please for me. Today could change your life with one little test" he says to me and I just give up. Whatever, I'll be there little test doll. I have nothing else better to look forward to. I nod at him and he smiles kissing my forehead. Then makes a signal at my uncle and he gets up from his seat and down to us.

"Ready to start?" He looks at me and I just nod with a sad face and he nods with a small smile of satisfaction.

My uncle gets me all ready and directs me to lay on the cold table and let the machine do its job. I just keep nodding at him and he smiles down at me.

"See you after this is finished" he smiles once again and pushes a button then walks up out of the room to the little computer room above me.

And again I'm alone.

Uncle Stephan

"How is she?" Harry asks as soon as I walk into the room.

"Uh she just kept nodding at me but I'm guessing fine" I reply and take a seat next to Jamie waiting for the scans to load up.

"She told me down there that they did this to her when she was little and they found nothing. That's probably why she was diagnosed as Shizoaffective" Harry informs me and nod at him.

"Ya they did but people change. Tests change" I say to him and he nods at me.

"They loaded" Jamie says and I snap my head to the screens.

"Oh" is all I can say.

"What? What is it?" Harry says looking at the scans but not being able to read them.

"The scans....her brain is perfectly fine"