White Washed

Chapter Twenty-One | Diving

My mind was in utter turmoil.

Noah was trying so very hard to make me enjoy this night, swimming and playing around, but I just couldn't keep a smile on my face for very long. He didn't seem to notice my fear, which made me shake and glance around the room every few seconds, but he did notice that I wasn't as enthusiastic as I had been before.

Finally, he heaved a sigh and propped himself up on the side of the pool, giving me his ever-famous look. The one that said 'I-know-theres-something-wrong-now-cut-the-bullshit." I'd seem him give it to the guys many times.

I swam over to him, intent on distracting him.

Usually I was very good at masking my emotions. I could at least pretend to be having fun and I was pretty convincing. While I was trying now, I had lost all enthusiasm to continue swimming or playing around. All I really wanted to do was tell Cass and then curl up in bed beside Noah and never come out from underneath my covers.

I'd seen the awful horror movies where the stupid girl runs into the bedroom and covers herself with her sheet to hide. Until this point, I'd always thought she was the dumbest person ever. Who hides under bed covers?

It didn't seem like such a bad idea now. Bed covers were soft and warm and nothing could hurt you when you slept. Well, sleeping made you vaunerable but, emotionally, dreaming was a good way to escape. Dreams seemed a fitting alternative to my reality, at the moment.

The pool made a gurgling sound, its water sloshing chaoticly against the sides of the pool. I took a deep breath, focusing on not creating a whirlpool to suck myself down. The water calmed within a minute and I looked at Noah.

"Why did you stop swimming?" I asked with a fake smile and a cheery voice.

 "I need a break, I guess." He shrugged. "Do you wanna go back up to the hotel room?"

I shook my head, laying it on his shoulder as I treaded water beside him. "Do you want to?"

He shook his head, as well. "I just thought maybe you were tired."

I looked up at him and smiled softly. The low lighting cast shadows across his face but his eyes stood out, gleaming and reflecting the poollights. "Not just yet."

I hesitated, looking around desperately for something to distract him with. No matter how scared I was, I didn't want him to think I wasn't having a good time. I was actually having a lot of fun before my hands freaked out and then I saw Malvir. I always loved hanging around with him — he was so sweet and fun and thoughtful.

I caught sight of the highest diving board and eyed it furtively. "I want to dive." I said, despite my distaste for the sport. "I used to dive when I was younger." It wasn't a lie.

When I was ten I had taken diving lessons, just to see if I liked them. Within a year I'd been in nearly every state competition and I'd won a good deal of them. I was a great diver. I practiced almost every day and my aunt even hired a private coach. Then, one day, I'd had an accident at a huge competition — the only one that mattered in my diving career, really. I was cocky, and that was why I had the stupid accident.

I'd jumped off the board and not had a care in the world. Up until then I'd been slightly nervous but I knew I could do it. Instead of doing the required two flips, I made to do three. The only problem was, I'd never preformed three before. I figured it would be as easy as two and I was sure I'd have enough time. I didn't. I did two and a half before I hit the water. Being halfway through, I didn't gently dip into the water. I plunged through at an awkward angle — the wrong angle.

I didn't really remember much of it, besides that it hurt like hell and it knocked me a good one in the head. I'd never been back on a diving board since but it was probably time I got over my silly fear. I wasn't cocky now, I knew what my limits were. I could do it.