Hudson's Heart

Hudson's Heart Chapter Nineteen

All morning I have felt heavy and sick. A numbing nausea blankets me. I'm barely able to function. Everything I do is in a painful slow motion. My suitcase sits by the cabin door, and my heart is in my dry mouth. It's palpitating with a deep feeling of sadness. Each thudding beat is just another distressing reminder of just how much it hurts. Dade and I have both been trying to distract one another with feigned humour, but the veil of anguish never leaves our faces.

"The car is ready, Georgie." Dade weakly smiles, his brave face now so pale.

"Okay," I answer with a big ball of overwhelming emotion stuck in my throat.

Picking up my belongings, he walks silently out towards the Ford Expedition waiting for me. The silence he leaves behind is excruciating. Can a silence really hurt? What surrounds me now, is doing just that.

Closing the cabin door, my heart sinks at the sight of all the other leaving guests getting into the car. It's bad enough that I'm leaving, but to have to endure sitting with all these people while my heart is breaking. Is just too unbearable for words.

Dade is trying to look at me, but his conflicted eyes are only able to briefly meet mine. "Seth volunteered to drive all of you to the airport. He thought you might need a friendly face. You can sit up front with him, if you like," he thoughtfully says.

Only a tiny grateful smile reaches my quaking lips. "I would really like that," I reply, trying hard not to crumble before him.

As Dade is putting my things in the car, I see Martha and Matthew coming out of the main house. Their kind smiling faces only make things worse. Again, my heart begins to hurt. It repetitively pumps the pain all around my weary body.

Martha rushes towards me with her outstretched arms. "We just had to come and say goodbye. You've been a beautiful breath of fresh air around here, Georgie. Have a safe journey, won't you?" Martha wraps her motherly arms around me. The pain in my chest is so intense, I fear I may just faint.

"Thanks for everything, Martha."

She lovingly strokes my face, tears filling her kindly eyes. "It's not only Dade, who's going to miss you."

My teary and very grateful eyes, look to the ground. I cuddle her again; a choking sob traitorously refuses to remain in my throat. "Look after him for me," I whisper in her ear.

She holds me tighter, nodding. "Of course, I will." she whispers back.

Matthew stands behind Martha, waiting his turn to say goodbye. "Don't be a stranger now, little lady," he says, sweeping me into his strong, bear like arms.

"I won't." The lump in my throat hurts so much; I can hardly swallow.

Putting me down, Matthew squeezes both my shoulders before stepping back to be with Martha. They both walk away to say their goodbyes to all the other guests, leaving just Dade and I standing behind the car.

To see a grown man so overwhelmed, ravaged by unforgiving emotion, is something I shall never forget. For the first time, Dade looks terribly vulnerable. The man that I love is fighting his own inner battle with everything that he's got. His fidgeting hands hide in the back pockets of his jeans, while swirling his boot idly around in the dusty gravel. I edge closer, willing him to look back into my sorry eyes.

Tentatively, I reach for the top of his hand that sits within the depth of his pocket. "Thank you, Dade. For giving me something that I will forever cherish." I just about manage to get out my trembling words.

His tear-filled eyes look down at me. "You know, Georgie, some people search their whole lives, looking for what we have shared these past two weeks," he says in a beautifully emotive way.