About Sophie

It's The End Where I Begin

His phone went silent after two rings. Mine rang once, twice, and on the third time, I reluctantly moved my gaze for a second, from his eyes to my phone on the floor. He carefully loosened his embrace and then carefully let me go. I watched his arms go limp on his sides, seemingly resigned to something I couldn't understand. I felt bereft at the sudden loss of physical contact. I looked in his eyes and there it was, the sadness in their depths that drew me to him the very first night we met. Only, it looked deeper than before, like no amount of intimacy we shared before could erase this time. I was about to raise my hand to touch his face, but he turned away from me to point to my still ringing phone.

"Maine... you should probably get that." He said, while staring at Kuya Nico's smiling face flashing on my phone screen. He carefully stood up, while I stayed on the floor and reached for my phone.

"Hello, ku--" my impatient brother cut me off before I could even say anything else.

"Meng! Ano na, bakit ang tagal mo? Akala ko ba pabalik ka na? Dyos ko Meng, nakakatawa! Diba naghihintay na kami sa may exit kanina, nung pagkatawag mo, naamoy ko ang baho! Pinagtinginan kaming dalawa ng anak mo ng mga tao na katabi namin! Nagtaka pa ko, hinanap ko din kung saan yung mabaho! Susmaryosep, anak mo pala!"

"Wait, ku--" There was no way to get any word in to my brother whenever he's in full storytelling mode like this. I let out a laugh and momentarily forgot where I was, then RJ cleared his throat. He picked up his phone and stared at the screen, then looked down at me again. "Just give me one sec" I mouthed and smiled the sweetest smile I could manage.

"Eh di dinala ko sa banyo. Potek Meng, walang diaper changing table sa Men's restroom! Eh di I had to go to the women's restroom! Nakakahiya buti na lang konti lang tao and napakiusapan ko yung attendant! Nag-sorry na lang ako sa kanilang lahat! Dyos ko Menggay, nakakahiya! Pano kaya yung mga single dad no? Eto ngayon lang kami nakalabas. Asan ka na ba? Sobrang gutom na tong anak mo, bibilhan ko na muna ng milk dito sa vending machine. Saka ang bigat ha, hindi ko naman maibaba dahil yung sapatos na sa'yo. Ay may medyas pala, pwede na! Pero uupo muna kami dito sa may waiting area. Pagkaubos nya ng milk at wala ka pa dito, pupun--"

I unconsciously tuned out my brother's voice when RJ walked closer to me again and took my free hand with both of his. He lifted it and gently kissed each of my knuckles for what felt like forever, that I had to close my eyes.

When I opened them, he was gone.

I panicked for a second and thought if I had just imagined the past ten minutes.

"No... he was here!" I frantically looked around me.

"Ano? Meng! Ano ba, lutang ka na naman. Sabi ko heto papunta na kami dyan, ayaw nya yung gatas sa vending machine. Mabagal lang kami, pinapalakad ko si Sophie nakakatawa, naka-socks lang, tuwang tuwa sya, ang cute cute tala--"

"Kuya! I'll call you back!" I hung up, grabbed Sophie's shoe on the floor, stood up and looked around some more. My world stopped for a second when I saw him standing in front of an airport officer who was checking what looked like his passport and boarding pass at the gate. No no no.. please...

"RJ, wait!" I shouted as I ran towards him and he turned just in time to catch me when I reached him, the surprise on his face evident. I held on to his neck tightly, at the fear of this being the last time I'd ever see him again. I felt his arms slowly tighten around me when my sobs involuntarily came, which reminded me of how much I had longed for him to hold me again.

"I have to go, Maine. I don't want to be the one to ruin your life. I thank God that He let me see you one last time and I only wish and pray for your happiness. You seem happy now and I don't want to be the one to ruin that for you." He whispered to my ear, kissed my cheek, and then let me go. I held his face in my hands. This was my chance to tell him.

"But we have to talk... you have to know something, please let's talk." The people around us were starting to stare, so the officer at the terminal gate motioned us to move to the side as we were blocking the line of people who were getting in.

"Maine, there's nothing to talk about. I'm happy that you're happy. I'm sorry for kissing you. I've been looking for you all this time, that when I saw you, I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect you or your husband." I was drowning in his eyes and relishing his touch on my cheek at his revelation, when that last word punched me in the gut.

"WHAT? What husband are you talking about?!" I asked incredulously and he reacted with genuine surprise. My phone started ringing again but I ignored it.

"Your husband. The man... I... I saw you at the diner. The one who was calling you earlier. The one probably calling--"

"Meng! ayan ka lang pala, kanina ka pa namin hinaha--"

"--you now."

"--nap."

Shit.

RJ came face to face with Kuya as my little Sophie waddled, threw her tiny arms around my leg as soon as she reached them and hid behind me.

Shit.

This was not how I imagined Sophie's first meeting with her father would be. I was trying to form words in my head on how I'd introduce her to RJ, when I noticed two grown men having some sort of a standoff in front of me.

"Pare, let me explain." RJ was first to break the silence, raising both his hands in front of him. This is not what you think it is. We just talked and I was just leaving." He looked defensive, while Kuya just looked amused and confused. Then I realized what RJ meant when he mentioned "husband."

Shit.

RJ and I jumped when Kuya suddenly guffawed as loud as the whole airport could hear. Sophie got too startled and started crying.

"You're Alden Richards, right?! Pare! I'm a fan!" Kuya, the goofball that he is, pulled RJ's hand and shook it firmly, gave him an awkward hug, while patting his back. It was RJ's turn to look confused. But before any words were exchanged further, I spoke up and introduced them.

"RJ, this is my brother, Kuya Nico. Kuya Nico, this is RJ." I never thought RJ's complexion could get any fairer. His face turned ashen, void of all color, and while he opened his mouth, no words came out. Kuya tried stifling another fit of laughter but failed.

"RJ pala ha. Hahahahah Pano naging RJ? Diba, Alden Richards ang pangalan mo?" Kuya teased while slapping him on his arm. RJ remained in shock.

"RJ... are you okay?" I asked gently, while soothing Sophie, who was now sucking her left thumb, her still teary eyes drooping, while nuzzling my neck.

"Uhm... wow... yeah... I've never felt better. He's your brother." He started scratching his head, then his nape. He was obviously answering my question, but could not take his eyes off of Kuya Nico. At least he'd found his voice again.

"You may call me RJ, pare. Alden Richards is my screen name." It was his turn to grab Kuya's hand for a firm handshake.

"Wow, Alden Richards, 'pare' ang tawag sakin! Selfie naman tayo!" And just like that, I heard the most amazing laugh I didn't realize I've been missing all this time. The last time I heard that laugh was when I discovered his tickle spot that night we were together. But as much as I wanted to hear his laughter all night, there was a very cute elephant in the room, now softly snoring on my neck, that needs to be addressed.

"RJ... I need to tell you something..." He finally turned to me again and smiled widely, his dimple deeper than I remember. But his eyes wandered to the curly haired toddler in my arms, obviously noticing her for the first time, and his smile suddenly turned from relief to confusion again. Sophie in return, moved her face deeper on my neck and was probably having a good dream, because aside from feeling her mouth turn into a smile, RJ's face turned from confusion to incandescent happiness. I was sure he'd seen his daughter's dimple on her left cheek, identical to his. He stared at her, not moving from his spot, not saying anything, just... staring, and smiling from ear to ear.

"RJ... this is So--"

The airport officer from before just had to come and ruin my moment.

"Excuse me, sir. I just need to return these to you. You will need them to reschedule. I'm afraid you've missed your flight."