Tevun-Krus #31 - Dying Earth

Ship Shape & Fighting Fit - a Short Story by @AngusEcrivain

What d'yer mean, dying?

Exactly what I said, old man. Dying means, well... Dying!

But it's way before time. Sol has another billion or so years left in her.

That's what happens when your inhabitants treat you like shit, I guess.

Aye, an' we all thought Earth was the lucky one, being blessed by the Universe with the opportunity to host life.

You have to feel sorry for the poor guy, really. Venus, at this point, smirked. Still, never did like the cocky shit. Funny the way things work out, eh?

Saturn shot her a look that said, well, all it needed to say, really. It was one of those looks your mum gave you when she'd had enough of actually telling you to stop being a little shit and was one step away from tanning your hide; the kind of look a referee will give at a sporting event when a competitor has broken the rules one too many times; the exact same look, in fact, as a man will give his vehicle when it splutters to a halt at the side of the road and dies.

Of course it should be noted that if a woman ever finds herself in the latter situation, as does happen on occasion I'm quite sure, it is a different look altogether, that she gives, one that says, "Right, compose yourself Janet," before getting beneath the bonnet and fixing the shit out of that car. 'Cos women don't fuck around.

Yeah, yeah, I know. And Venus did know. Whether she liked Earth or not, regardless of whether she found him to be a cocky little shit, they were... they were a complete set. Without one, without Earth, someone was going to have to step up and take the place of the third rock from the Sun.

You know though, Ceres is next in line... Saturn let that hang there for a moment, watching the look of realisation as it spread across Venus' face.

I'd rather have Earth back, ship shape and fighting fit, than give Ceres, that arrogant bastard, the satisfaction of playing host planet.

You're just bitter 'cos he shot his bolt over your tits at the Christmas party and won't stop going on about how you, now what was it, "Loved it because you're a dirty whore?" Those were your exact words, if I remember correctly...

Fine. Hands held high, yes, I did love it. But just because I did, doesn't mean I want Ceres walking 'round all high and ruddy mighty.

Touche.

You know you could save Earth, right. All those moons and asteroids, all that crap you've got running circles 'round you... It wouldn't take much to knock one of those out of orbit, would it?

Knock it outta' orbit on a trajectory that just so happens to intersect Earth's orbit? Now it was Saturn's turn to smirk... Mischievous devils, planets.

Well you know I can't resist a game of pool. Saturn chuckled, heartily. I make this shot and drinks are on you, right?

Of course. I'm pretty sure it'll be worth getting you pissed and taking advantage of you. I've seen you in the shower, after all.

And with a crick of his neck, a shrug and a wink, Saturn lined up his shot...