Listen | m.yg + p.jm

Suicide

      Lying in bed, Yoongi stared up at the ceiling. He hummed to the rhythm of the pouring rain outside, dark clouds filling the once clear sky. He sat up, placing his feet on the icy cold floor. Approaching his desk, he pulled out his notebook, grabbing a pencil on his way back to his bed.

      He looked outside, seeing shadows and darkness. He had no inspiration. He let his mind wonder off while his hands did something else. His thoughts wandered to Jimin and to school and to his dad. Then, to his mom. He missed her, and he would give anything to see her again. Hell, he would even switch places with her if given the chance. He would rather her be alive and well then dead and gone. On his bad days, she would always make everything better, just as a mother should. But now that she wasn't there, the bad days stayed and became permanent. He would give anything to be happy, but he only wanted to be happy if she were there. And she wasn't, so sadness was the only answer he saw.

      He looked down at the paper, seeing tons of scribbles. But if he tilted his head, he could see people, two people to be exact. He was expecting it to look like him and his mother, but instead, it looked like two young boys. It looked like-

      Knock Knock Knock.

      Yoongi jumped at the sound of banging on his window. He shoved the paper in his pocket, slamming the notebook shut.

"Hi Yoongi!" Said a soaked Jimin.

"W-What are you doing here?! How did you find me?!" Yoongi stuttered as Jimin slid the window open and crawled in. He took a seat right next to Yoongi, soaking the bed covers in rain water.

      "I just followed you home today. I've been waiting in your backyard since 4:42PM," Jimin exclaimed.

      "Get out! I don't want you here!" Yoongi yelled, trying to push Jimin off the bed.

      "Funny, you sound like the kids at school." Yoongi froze. He did, didn't he? He let go of the boys arm and fell back onto his bed. "I-I'm sorry. I really am. I just haven't had someone care about me in such a long time," Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes.

      "Listen to yourself. Listen to how pathetic you sound!" Yoongi felt somewhat offended. "No wonder you're so sad all the time! If you keep thinking like that, you're probably going to end up killing yourself," Jimin said, fiddling with his thumbs.

      "Killing myself? What do you mean?" Yoongi asked, curiosity filling inside of him at the two words.

      "You don't know what killing yourself is?" Jimin asked, shocked. Yoongi shook his head.

      "Well, people usually do it when they're sad, I think. When they hate the world. People do it all the time, with guns or knives or even pills. My dad did it," Jimin said, his voice trailing off.

      Yoongi was so distracted by the thought of dying that he almost didn't catch what Jimin said at the end. "Wait, what? You're dad killed himself?" Yoongi asked, amazed.

      "Well, I'm not sure, really. He's still alive, so I guess not. But he goes around the house all day saying that he's killed his old self, and that he's a monster now. But I mean, he's still breathing, right?" Jimin gave a weak smile.

      "Alive and breathing? They don't really mean the same thing, but I wouldn't expect you to understand," Yoongi said. Jimin just shrugged and stared at the floor.

      "I still think you're superhuman," Jimin said out of nowhere. Yoongi looked up to see that he was staring at the picture on the wall. He felt his cheeks turn red.

      "I used to. But now I think it's stupid," Yoongi muttered, standing up and tearing the picture down. Though, he didn't throw it away. Instead, he crumbled it up in his pocket.

      "What's that one of? Is that you?" Jimin asked, pointing at the remaining drawing hanging on the wall.

      "That's me before this happened," Yoongi huffed, pointing to his face and body.

      "That's who you used to be. I think it's stupid," Jimin said as he stood up and yanked the picture off the wall, tearing it in half. Yoongi felt his heart drop in his chest as he saw the paper rip.

      "I think the you you are now is much cooler," Jimin said reassuringly. "That's nice, but you're only one person. What about everyone else? Everyone else hates me," Yoongi pouted and took a seat at his desk.

      "You shouldn't care what they think. You should only care about what the good people think. The people you love. Do you love anyone?" Jimin asked as he sat back down on the edge of the bed.

      "I used to, not anymore." Yoongi responded. He turned around and saw the sadness in Jimin's eyes.

      "Well... Then you shouldn't care what anyone thinks. I guess... Just don't care about what the world thinks. Even the people you love. Quit worrying." Jimin said, thought there was a hint of spitefulness in his tone.

      "I guess you're right. It's not all about me. There's other things to be worried about," Yoongi admitted.

"Good. I'm going to go now. See you tomorrow," Jimin said as he opened the window.

      Yoongi got up and stood next Jimin as he climbed out. "Oh Jimin, one more thing," Yoongi called.

"What?"

"I love you."