Listen | m.yg + p.jm

Truth

      Though Yoongi wasn't allowed to open the letter yet, he could still stare at it. And that's what he did. The rest of the night he sat at his desk and examined the enclosed paper. He wanted to know what was inside so bad. What was so important to Jimin?

He continued to pick at the seal.

'When is the time supposed to be right?" Yoongi asked himself over and over again.

      Curiosity was starting to take him over, eating away at him. He took one last look at the envelope before tearing it to shreds.

      He held the undamaged piece of paper in his hands.

      There was writing on it. Dozens of scribbles, everywhere. Yoongi unfolded it and began to read.

Dear Min Yoongi,
       It feels strange calling you Min Yoongi since I'm so used to saying Yoongi. It's almost as if I'm writing to a different person. But I'm not. I know I'm not. I know that the Yoongi that I'm writing to right now is the same Yoongi that I comforted on the bathroom floor. The same Yoongi who doesn't have a mask to hide behind. The same Yoongi who was never there for me.
      But enough about me, right? No. Not enough. A billion words wouldn't be enough. A dictionary wouldn't be enough. I'm writing to you because I feel like I can't talk to you about my problems, myself. In person. Instead, I decided to be a coward and hide behind a pencil and an eraser.
      I love listening to your problems, making you feel better. I love laughing with you. Smiling with you. Enjoying life with you. But for some reason, I always feel like you don't enjoy it like I do.
      Listen, Yoongi. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Before you came to school, I had no one. No one to call "friend." But then you showed up. You seemed sad. I wanted to make you happy. I wanted to see you smile.
      You see, I've always had this thing about me. I would always want other people to be happy before I found happiness myself, and I really do hope you're happy. Unfortunately, in order to do that, I would have to put on my mask. I would have to make it seem as though my life was okay in order to make someone else's life amazing.
      I think I'm starting to lose focus. I can't even remember why I started writing this pointless letter, though I know it's important. It's how I feel. I'm sorry if you've found this confusing or if you feel guilty now, I just needed to let my emotions out.
I just wish that you would listen to me for once. I know that it sounds like I'm complaining, but I just need someone to understand. My mask is falling apart, and it cost a lot. I had to give a lot for that pretend piece of plastic. So the next time you see me, just promise me that you'll listen.
-sincerely,
Jimin

Yoongi continued to read the letter a thousand times before he finally put it down. He got up and began to pace in circles, feeling a thousand feelings all at once.

He felt so bad, so guilty, for never being there for Jimin. Hell, he didn't even realize that the boy had a problem until he didn't show up to school for a week. Yoongi cursed at himself, slapped himself, and hurt himself for letting Jimin suffer. His hero was in pain, and he did nothing about it. He was taking advantage of Jimin's kindness, of Jimin's acceptance, of Jimin's existence. He was taking advantage of Jimin.

It wasn't a suicide letter. It wasn't a piece of paper that said goodbye. It was a cry for help. A wish. A wish that Yoongi would be there to save him.

Yoongi grabbed the depressing letter off his desk and stuck it on his wall, right where the drawings used to be. Right where his dreams had once been.