We Are Free

Days Off

I wake up to Emily in the bed next to me. She was wrapped up in her blanket like a burrito her long dirty blond hair a mess in her face, I can tell she is sleeping hard. I smile at her and look at my phone it was 10:15. Andrew jumps in his play pen and squeals.
"Shhhhhh, she is sleeping where are your manners be a gentleman." I tell him. He shrugs his shoulders and smiles at me I pick him up and take him potty and put a new pull up on him. He runs out of the bathroom laughing. I smile and laugh a little then Emily comes to me.
"Good morning sleepy head." I say to her. She looks upset.
"Hi."
"What's wrong?"
"I had a nightmare and went potty in bed." She starts crying and hugs me.
"Which one?"
"Mine, I changed my underwear my nightgown didn't get wet though."
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"I did but you fell back asleep, don't be mad at me."
"Sweetie I'm not mad at you it happens it's okay."
"Really?"
"Yeah, do you want to know a secret?"
"What?"
"Sometimes, I wet the bed to."
"Really!" She says completely shocked. Her eyes get big and her mouth opens into an O shape before a smile.
"Really!" I say
"But you are 16."
"I know that's why it's a secret."
"So you're not mad?"
"No, I'm not mad." I wipe her tears and clean her bed. I put her sheets in the washer and grab Andrew we go downstairs.
"Idiot get me some painkillers and food!" He says it so hateful. He always does. Everything he says to me is in hate. I wish he would leave again.
"Okay dad." I say calmly biting my tongue like always. It is in my best interest to do so. I get him some Tylenol and water. While the kids play in the living room I start breakfast. I know I should have brought them with me when I hear him start yelling.
"SHUT UP YOU DAMN KIDS." He yells. They start crying I go to the living room and stand there.
"What's going on?"
"They won't shut the hell up!" He says with so much hate it hurts. I am so done. I will bite my tongue when he insults me but I won't let him do it to them.
"They are just playing. Leave them alone!" I say. He gets angry and growls deep in his throat. He looks at the glass cup by him. He picks up the glass cup I had handed to him and throws it at Emily I grab her just in time and it smashed against the wall.
It bounces off, I cover them. A big piece of glass cuts into my arm it was long but not deep I clench my teeth and my arm starts bleeding.
"I'm going out. See you idiots later. I hate all of you!"
"Wait, why did you throw that cup." He turns around and I know I shouldn't have stepped up and said something. I should have just gotten them out of the room and let him leave. When it comes to hurting them I won't stand for it.
"Because you had an attitude with me."
"You threw it at Emily she didn't do anything to you, you asshole." In that moment I realize I just made a huge mistake. He comes at me grabs my throat and throws me to the ground faster than I can think or even blink.
Emily and Andrew run to the corner them both still in tears Emily holds Andrew. This is no place to raise a child. In reality this is where my story starts. This is how everything that I'm about to tell you happens.
"Don't you ever disrespect me do you hear me you stupid piece of crap!" He screams at me so loud it felt as though I would go deaf from the sensation. I have tears in my eyes.
"Yes." I squeak it out he lets go, I start gasping and coughing he opens the door.
"I hate you!" Emily says with nothing but hate. She hardly ever has hate in her voice. He smiles wickedly and walks out slamming the door behind him. I roll over onto my hands and knees still coughing Emily runs to me and touches my bloody arm.
"Jace are you okay?"
"*cough* Yeah I just *cough* need a minute." She runs upstairs. Andrew just stays in the corner I manage to get on my knees and stop coughing Emily comes back down and puts a cold, wet, cloth on my bloody arm it felt good.
"Better." She says. She is very smart for being 5 years old.
"Yeah, thanks sweetie but I got it."
"Okay, you are welcome." I get up and grab Andrew I put him on my waist and Emily follows. I go to the bathroom and put Andrew down. I clean my cut and grab the wrapping gauze. I wrap it around my arm in a thick layer where the cut is and use medical tape to tape it down.
I grab Andrew and we go down stairs. I put him in the high chair and turn breakfast off so it don't burn. I put some shoes on and pick up the big pieces of glass and throw them away. I get the vacuum cleaner and vacuum the living room so I ensure I get all the glass off the floor.
I take my shoes off and finish breakfast. I give them their breakfast. Right now I just wanna curl into a ball and cry but I can't, I have to take care of them. I often leave them with toys and go to the bathroom to cry when I can't take it anymore. They eat but I don't I'm not hungry. I clean the kitchen while they eat.
When they are done eating I clean Andrew's hands and face then take him potty and get him dressed in a shirt and shorts. I put some socks and shoes on him. I give Emily her clothes and I help her when she needs it. I put her hair in two Dutch braids.
They play on the floor in our room while I get dressed. When I'm dressed I clean up the room they help me by putting their toys away.
"Okay we have to go shopping." I say, Emily looks at me like the world is about to end.
"Really." She says.
"Yeah." I say.
"Nooooooooo." She falls to her knees being dramatic. I laugh at her. I help her up.
"Your funny and you like shopping."
"No, I don't."
"Yes you do."
"Only a little."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
"Well now I'm confused."
"Me to."
"Well let's go."
"Fine." I grab Andrew and Emily follows me I grab the list and the diaper bag and get them in the car. I put the diaper bag in the car and I get in.
"Can you put on music Jace? Emily asks the second I get in and start the car. She loves music.
"Really must we have music?" I ask her in a whiny baby girl voice but fail as my voice is deep. She giggles before I turn on the radio.
"Yes we must." She says smiling at me. Andrew squeals and kicks his feet then claps his hands. I smile and turn the radio on. Emily sings along and Andrew kicks his feet and laughs the whole time. We get to the store and I get a cart and put Andrew in the seat then I put Emily on my shoulders.
I take out my list and we get going. I get pull ups, diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream, some food , and each of them a cookie then we go to check out. I put the things on the conveyor belt.
The cashier scans it I pay for it and we leave. I put the kids in the car and put the stuff in the bed of the truck then put the cart away. I grab their cookies and I get in the car and buckle up.
"Music!" Emily says. I hook my phone up to the radio and play their favorite song.
"Okay, let me live please." I say and Emily laughs at me a little bit.
"Jace, we will let you live because I like cuddling with you at night." Emily says. She always knows what to say.
"Awe thanks sweetie." Andrew kicks his feet again. I hand them their cookies and I check my phone it was noon.
"You guys hungry?" I ask them they both agree by nodding their heads.
"Okay, where should we go to eat?" Emily manages to swallow down her bite of cookie to answer me.
"Chinese!"
"Yeah." Andrew chimes in.
"Oh, you agree with everything Andrew."
​ "Yeah." I shake my head.
"You're a silly boy."
"Yeah." Emily starts laughing.
"Why are you laughing silly girl?"
"I don't know" she smiles at me again. I shake my head and start driving. I drive to the Chinese buffet and grab the diaper bag and the kids.
"I have to go potty Jace." Emily says while holding my hand.
"Me to." Says Andrew.
"Alright." I take them inside and we get a table. I get a high chair and booster seat. I take them to the bathroom and put a new pull up on Andrew and we leave the bathroom.
I get Emily some food with Andrew on my hip she carries her plate I get my food and we sit down I put Emily in the booster seat and Andrew in the high chair I put some chicken nuggets in a bowl for him to eat I get us water.
"This is good." Emily says with a piece of chicken on one end of her chopstick. She doesn't really know how to use them. She likes them though because her and Andrew have sword fights with them.
"Yeah." I say as she puts another piece into her mouth
"Yeah."
"That's good."
"It tastes like chicken."
"It is chicken."
"Really."
"Yeah, it's chicken silly girl." I say smiling she can get anyone to laugh without trying.
"Well, whatever it is it's good." She says putting some more into her mouth.
"Well if you're happy I'm happy."
"That's good." I give Andrew some rice and a spoon.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"You start school next year."
"Really?"
"Really, you start kindergarten."
"Yay I can't wait."
"You're excited."
"Yeah I'm excited I love school."
"You have never been to school though."
"Oh yeah, I forgot."
"You're a silly girl."
"Can we get ice cream?"
"Is that what you want for dessert?"
"Yeah with gummy bears, m&m's, caramel , chocolate sauce, and pudding." She says her eyes lighting up making me smile.
"That sounds messy." I say turning my head to the side like a confused dog.
"That's the point!" She replies throwing her hands up and sticking her bottom lip out before putting them down.
"Well when we are done eating our food you sit here and behave and I will get you guys ice cream."
​ "Yay! I'm excited now."
"Okay." We finish eating our food. I stack the plates, forks, and napkins up then I get Emily a bowl of ice cream with all the things she wanted and nuts. I give her her ice cream then I get Andrew some plain ice cream and I get myself some ice cream.
I sit back down and we eat our ice cream. I take them both to the bathroom. I clean Andrew up and they go potty. When we leave the restaurant it was one o'clock. We go home I put the stuff away. Emily helps me put the food away. I get them some crayons and coloring books and set them at the coffee table to color then I call Zac.
"Hey man what you doin?"
"Oh same old same old. I should fold laundry but I don't wanna."
​ "Yeah, is douchbag out?"
"Yeah, that's why I should get it done so he don't hurt me for the second time today"
"The second time today!"
"Yeah he choked me and my arm got cut by a glass cup then he walked out and hasn't come back but good for him."
"Yeah, I hope he gets hit by a car and dies."
"Hey, that's mean."
"I know but at least you won't have to deal with his scummy ass."
"True." I nod my head side to side even though I know he can't see me.
"Turn his pimping ass into a throw rug then you can take him out and beat him when ever you want."
"I wish it worked that way." I start laughing at him I get up and get the laundry basket I start folding the clothes in the basket.
"So what are you doin?"
"I am currently kicking ass at saving the world and it is a bloody mess."
"When are you going to grow up?"
"Fuck that why would I do a horrid thing like that? You are so mean I'm breaking up with your ass effective immediately." He says it in a girly voice but he fails as his voice is deeper than mine.
"Now you're acting like a little girl."
"Bitch please could a little girl save the world and look this fabulous while doing so."
"Fabulous I bet you ten bucks you are sitting in your boxer briefs with a can of soda to your right and a bag of Doritos to your left."
"Yeah, your right."
"I thought so."
"I should look into drag I would rock that."
"You wouldn't pass worth nothing."
"Yeah, your right."
"Well grown ups know best."
"I'm older."
"Don't act like it."
"Girls girls you're both pretty now stop fighting." Emily says.
"Did you just hear her?"
​​​​ "Yeah, I'm about to whip a can of butt whoop on her come Monday."
"You will forget by Monday."
"Yeah, your right." I talk to Zac while doing laundry and chores the kids color when I finally hang up with him I have 6 new pictures and a spotless house with dinner to start. I start making dinner when my dad comes bursting through the door knocking Andrew over he falls and starts crying
"Shut the hell up! Where is my food?" He yells. I can already feel this night go down hill. A chill runs through me but I don't dare let him see me shudder.
"I'm making dinner now dad." I say going to Andrew and picking him up. I hold him against my chest as he cries. I sway back and forth to calm him. My dad sees the pile of clothes I folded on the table
"Why in the hell is your crap down here?" He knocks it on the floor and storms through the living room he shoves Emily down and she hits her head on the table and starts screaming and crying. Both kids are crying and screaming I go over to Emily and pick her up to
"Pick it up and get it out now!" He yells as both kids are crying.
"Dad, I have my hands full I can't pick it up at this moment." I try to reason with him. He is drunk beyond belief. I should know better by now.
"DO IT NOW!" I get on my knees and just use my hands to get the clothes off the floor the best I can. I put the clothes in the laundry basket and set it in the corner I take the kids to the kitchen. I put the baby gate up then grab the laundry basket.
I take it to the kitchen both kids have settled down. I refold the laundry while cooking dinner. I put the laundry upstairs and finish dinner. I try not to cry the whole time. I have to stay strong. I give my dad his food then the kids theirs. I eat dinner myself and take them upstairs they play while I put our laundry away.
"Why did he do that Jace? Why did he push me and Andrew and choke you? Emily asks with tears in her eyes. She hates our dad and I don't blame her. She sees him hit me and hurt me every day.
"He did it because he is a sick man and he only cares about himself he has no regard for anyone but himself and it's not fair, it's not right. That's just how some people are and we can't change them and we can't do anything about it all we can do is pray and hope they come to their senses and everyone involved with them is okay.
What he does to you and me and Andrew isn't right we know that but he don't and that's where the trouble is, so we have to hang in there and make sure we as a team are alright.
We have to look after each other and we will make it out okay and I promise you I will get you out of here one day but for now me you and Andrew have to be a team and stick together to make it out alright.
Everyday we have to do that no matter what happens and not worry about what he thinks of us or how he acts towards us because, if we listen to it we will act like it and if we act like it we will turn into it and we don't want that." I tell her. The tears in her eyes have gone away but new ones come as she starts talking again.
"Promise me you won't turn into daddy I don't want you to be like him it will break my heart because I love you. I don't love him though." I look at her and nearly start crying I get down to her level.
"I promise you that I will never turn into dad because I don't wanna lose you or Andrew because I love you both so much."
"Pinky promise." We lock our pinkies.
"Pinky promise I love you princess."
"I love you to." She says then she hugs me.