Irreparable

Chapter 2

The way I laughed a little louder when you were around, hoping my laugh would entrance you, just like yours did for me.

The way I smiled a little more around you, hoping you'd fall for my smile just as I did yours.

The way my hand seemed to always find a way to make any sort of contact with you, hoping the electricity I felt would jolt your heart as it did mine.

The way my eyes searched yours, hoping to open the window to your soul just as mine was bared wide open before you.

And it did.

My laugh entranced you. You fell for my smile. Your heart jolted. You opened your soul to me.

But like everything, nothing is permanent. Tomorrow is not promised, you would not be mine forever.

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When was the last time I was this nervous, was it my first day at kindergarten? My first day at secondary school? My first day at university? My first date? My first time? My wedding day? My divorce? My first diagnosis? I do not remember.

But sitting here, outside my ex-husband's office was worse than I had ever imagined. I don't even know what I would say to him first. Hello? I'm sorry? I miss you? You look old? I feel like a teenager and I need to act like the grown woman I am. 'I'm a grown woman... I can do whatever I want' I smiled despite my nerves as I rocked back and forth singing Beyoncé.

Looking around, the lobby surroundings almost alien to me. The reception had been colourful and bright when I had last been here but now all the colour had been swallowed by a sea of white. It was classy and expensive but not as welcoming as I had imagined when I decorated it at its beginning. They only succeeded in increasing my concerns as I realised that I no longer knew my ex-husband.

"Myrani?" I looked up at the familiar voice calling out to me.

Linda Anders. Devon's first secretary and childhood best friend. I smiled at her as I got up "Linda, hello?" It was a question as I wasn't sure of where we stood. She had been a great friend to me and my family throughout my relationship with Devon but I had not made contact with any of Devon's friends since the divorce. I was afraid they would leave me too so I left them before they could leave me.

She hugged me which took me by surprise, I quickly held myself and hid a grimace at the pain. "I'm so sorry." Her apology surprised me once more, what would she have to apologise for, I'm the one who cut off all contact without so much as a goodbye.

I pulled back and studied her beautiful tear-filled blue eyes, she had always been incredibly stunning, I felt insecure around her when we first met. It always puzzled me how she and Devon had never been together when together they could be a sight for sore eyes, but he had continually drilled it into my head that she was like his little sister and since we weren't in Alabama it would never happen. That and Linda's kind, inviting heart made me more comfortable until I realised how ridiculous I was acting. "Linda please, I'm the one who should be sorry, I cut off all connections, I really am sorry." I squeezed her hand. "Anyway, how are you? It has been way too long."

She grinned as she lifted her left hand, almost blinding me with the big rock. I hugged her in congratulations. "When? "

Her eyes glazed over, no doubt remembering her wedding day, "Last summer. His name is Owen, I will give you the details later. You, missy, are taking me out for dinner. Non-negotiable." Her finger wagged in my face as I rolled my eyes and offered her a mock-salute.

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am. Bossy as ever I see, some things don't change."

"And some things do." From the wistful look on her face, I concluded it must be about Devon, had he changed so much? In what way? Would I like the change? More questions which will soon be answered.