Alone, Together (julian casablancas fanfiction)

Chapter Seven: Shocked

Julian didn't know what to do after the party. He decided to walk to Gemma's house, which was a bad idea all together. He knocked on the door and an unfamiliar face opened it. It was her mom. He introduces himself with a shy smile, he knew he looked like a mess. His hair was going in all different directions and his eyes were red, and he was still really drunk. 

"Hi, Julian." her mom says. Gemma can hear everything from up in her room. She had spoken to her mom prior. She only told her mom she didn't feel good, she didn't say anything about the party. 

"Is Gemma home? I'd really like to talk to her." he says.

Her mom glances back toward the kitchen, before examining Julian. He was a cute boy, and he seemed to care a lot about Gemma- but she knew boys like him. Boys like him were always trouble.

"She isn't feeling well. Maybe if you stop by another time." her mom explains. Julian hated that and wanted to see her now. The idea that her mom knew he was a shit person made him feel even worse. He nods his head, as he turns back toward the street. He walks a silent journey home.

Gemma had tears flowing down her eyes, she couldn't stop them. She wanted Julian in her arms but she had no idea where she stood in his life. She thought he was going to mad for a minute, but he went and kissed another girl. It made her feel terrible and unworthy. She felt so good and special with Julian and it was ruined so fast. Gemma couldn't wrap her brain around anything. She could barely even think about her best friend using him as sabotage. Gemma wanted to hide. The only person she could rely on was herself, and she is always right about good things ending badly. 

Gemma realizes after Julian leaves that her mom doesn't even ask whats wrong. Sometimes she feels like she doesn't care about her or her feelings. Gemma was spiteful. If her mom wasn't going to show she cared, then she wasn't going to talk to her either. She wishes her dad was still here. He would've known what to say and how to help, but Gemma only had herself. 

It had been a week since the party and a week since Gemma last saw Julian. School was rough because she had to completely withdraw herself from Ginger and her friend group. They snickered at her and it always seemed like Gemma was the topic of conversation. She couldn't understand how a friendship of 8 years, could be flushed away so quick. Ginger was a bad, selfish, and cruel person. Luckily, the next week and a half is Christmas break. Gemma couldn't wait for the bell to ring, so she could return home and lay in bed all day. She had nothing else to do but wallow in her misery.

It was the Monday right before Christmas and Gemma decided to go to Albert's Christmas party. Her mom was dragging her there really, since her mom and Albert's mom have always been sorta close. Albert gives Gemma a weak smile when he sees her. He knows about everything that happened and how badly Julian is beating himself up about it. Albert doesn't know what to do since he cares about the both of them

They walk up into Albert's room away from the snobby, rich people of New York. His father was Albert Hammond, a critically acclaimed musician. Albert's life has always been wealth and fortune, and it was eerily similar to Julian's. Private prep schools in Europe, rich fathers and model mothers, and not a clue of the world. Gemma thought she was being a bit harsh, but she was allowed to be. She felt like a grain of sand in their world- completely unnoticeable and worthless.

Albert glances over at her, "How have you been?' Gemma racks her brain of what to say. She didn't want to talk about Julian.

"I've been good." she shrugs. "How about you?"

Albert gives her a smile. "I've been good- just working on music stuff cause I'm in a band." He says, unaware that she knew about Julian's band. 

She feels a sinking feelings inside. "Yeah, that's really cool." 

Albert continues on, completely unaware and starts talking about songs and all the idea's he had. "So- Jules wrote this really awesome song with this sick guitar solo." Albert explains, growing quiet. It had slipped his mind and he doesn't want to make Gemma feel upset. She gives him a smile, masking her pain. She didn't want to make it seem like this big issue or like she was plagued by it, even though she was.

Albert nervously chuckles, "Sorry. I forgot." 

"It's okay. He told me about the band and it sounds really cool." she says, refusing to say his name out loud.

"Have you talked to him?" Albert asks, knowing they haven't talked since before that night. 

Gemma shakes her head. "No." 

The two of them talked a little longer about other things and about school. Gemma felt good, since she had barely been talking to anybody. Albert was happy to see his friend too, since they had been distant since he transferred back. Before Gemma gets up to leave the room, Albert turns to her. He goes inside his drawer and takes out two crumpled pieces of sheet music.

"Here. This is for you." 

Gemma is confused. She doesn't know why he is giving her sheet music. She doesn't even know how to read sheet music.

"It's a song. I think you'll like it." Albert says, as she looks down at the paper.

She reads the top. It reads, 'Alone, Together.' By Julian Casablancas.

Julian's handwriting is messy, but she can still make out the first few lines of the song. Her heart drops, she wasn't sure if she was ready to read it. These were his real, vulnerable feelings and after everything, she didn't want another roller coaster of emotions. 

"Thanks." She says, as they leave his room and head back downstairs into the lavish party. Albert hopes that the song will help his friends patch things up. It was risky, since he wasn't even supposed to share the song. Julian had no idea and would've told Albert hell no if he had suggested giving it to Gemma.

When Gemma gets home, she folds the sheet music in half and puts it in her side table drawer. She didn't want to lose it, but she was temporarily hiding from it. She could hear footsteps coming towards her door, it was her mom.

"Gemma? I want to talk to you." Her mother sulks, as she stands against the door frame. 

Gemma gives her a look to continue talking. Her mother isn't fond of the attitude, but Gemma wasn't in the mood. "I need you to be more respectful around Brian." she explains. "Just say hi to him, that's all."

Given the way Gemma had been feeling the past couple weeks, she really didn't want to have to hear her mom talk about her boyfriend. It annoyed her and made her feel angry. 

"Whatever, I don't want to talk about your boyfriend." Gemma's mom gives her a look.

"I'm tired of the disrespect. You're seventeen you do what I tell you." she says.

"Fuck you and your boyfriend." Gemma says. She had never spoken to her mother that way and it was alarming, but the damage had already been done. She couldn't take back her words. What made it worse was that Brian was downstairs, probably hearing every word.

Her mom was furious. "You're grounded. No more friends. No more Julian." she explains, completely unaware that her daughter had no friends and no longer hung out with Julian.

"Whatever." Gemma says, as her mom turns around and slams her door. She knew she fucked up. She wished she didn't say that to her mom, but why does she never consider her feelings. It's always about everyone else in this fucking world and Gemma was tired of it.