Alone, Together (julian casablancas fanfiction)

Chapter Eight: Concerned

It was the beginning of January and Christmas break was sadly over. Gemma was happy to get back to school so she could escape her mom and Brian. Brian was at her house almost every night. Gemma tried to clear her head of all things Julian, but she couldn't help but think about him.

It was a new semester.

Gemma enters her health class, hoping to see Julian, since he was on the roster- but he was a no show. Julian missed two weeks of school prior to break and now he was missing more school. Gemma was still angry and so upset, but it's not like her feelings magically washed away. She worried about him and wondered what he was doing. She debated calling him or texting him, but instead decided to just walk over to his house. She knew it was wrong, but she wanted to see his face. After school, she walked down two blocks to his house. Every step she took filled her with anxiety. She almost turned back home twice.

When she got to his house she slowly walked up to his front door. She was nervous, but eventually built up the courage to knock. Gemma was surprised to see Nikolai open the door, and he welcomes her in with a smile.

"Is Julian here?" She asks, as she scans the room. It didn't seem like anyone was home, only Nikolai who was downstairs watching tv.

"Yeah, he's upstairs sleeping."

Gemma gives him a smile, before walking away and up the stairs. She remembers where Julian's room is and sees the door is cracked open. It looked dark inside. She opens the door slightly to peak in, the light from the hallway illuminating his room. She can see Julian sprawled out on his bed. His room was a mess- beer cans and sheets of paper all around. She turns back to leave, but Julian starts mumbling.

"Gemma?" he says, propping himself up on the bed and rubbing his eyes. She gives him a weak smile, as he picks himself up off the bed. She studies him. His eyes look dark and tired, and he's wearing a wrinkly Nirvana insecticide t-shirt and jeans. Julian couldn't believe she was standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Julian gets up and sits on the edge of his bed, his elbows resting on his knees. Gemma walks into his room and sits beside him on the bed.

"You haven't been at school" She says with a concerned tone. Julian didn't realize she was noticing and thinking about him. He had been so busy wallowing in his pain of constantly fucking up and disappointing people.

"I know." His voice is hoarse and raspy.

It's silent between them. Julian has a sinking feeling inside him. He's full of guilt and hatred for himself and the way he treated Gemma. He feels like she deserves so much better, but she feels the opposite. She's hurt but she's not mad at him anymore- she wants him still and wanted his touch. No matter how hard she tried to hate him, she only fell more in love with him.

"I'm so sorry, Gemma." All he can do is apologize, since he doesn't know what else to say.

"I know, it's okay."

She thinks she forgives him, but it didn't matter because she knew she still wanted Julian around her. She reaches out and grabs his hand. He looks toward her, as he sucks her into his warm embrace. His head rests on her chest, as she rests her head on his, stroking his back. She felt so good to be holding Julian, and he wanted nothing more to be wrapped up in her.

She pulls away, "I should probably go."

Julian sulks, letting his head fall to the ground before lifting it and meeting eyes with Gemma. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn't know if she wanted him to. She follows behind him as they walk back downstairs. She realizes Nikolai had left and it was now only the two of them. They hold each other once more, before separating. She wanted to kiss him really bad.