Chapter Five

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It had been eighteen days and I was slowly losing my mind. Remi was gone. Out of my life for good but rather than feeling happy, I felt destroyed. My wolf wouldn’t talk to me and I couldn’t tell if he was being petty or he was sick, because I was. I was sick and tired of the pitiful look on my pack’s faces. I was sick of my father’s look of disappointment and anger. I was sick of not having Remi in my arms. I was sick! Sick! Sick! Sick!!

After I had so cruelly rejected her and allowed Bella rub all over me in a pathetic attempt to forget Remi, my wolf, Logan, had proceeded to give me a verbal chewing.

“Go back in there. You’re going to ruin my life,” He had growled angrily at me but I wasn’t going to listen. Remi was a pathetic excuse for a person and I didn’t want to associate myself with her. She would make a terrible Luna, and god forbid any of my children inheriting her weakness.

“No. She would be the one to ruin my life.” I answered Logan. My stance on her weakness was cemented when I saw her run past me at the parking lot. For a second, Logan took over and tried to chase her but thank God for Bella who was aggressively trying to have her way with me.

All she ever did was run. When things didn’t go her way, she threw tantrums that ruined peoples lives and then she tried to escape it all by running away. The same way she had ruined my life and then promptly escaped.

A part of me knew it was stupid. I had been the one to reject her but I couldn’t help but be bitter, even just a little. She left me. It was just like being a child again. Missing Remi when all she wanted to do was leave me behind.

I remember when we were little, the first time I had ever seen her. I was six and she was four and after years of begging my parents for a sibling, even though my mum could no longer bare biological children, she had come along. At first I wasn’t exactly thrilled. I wanted a little brother to play ball with, not a big cry baby that was Remi, but it didn’t take long to warm up to her.

Remi didn’t like a lot of people when she arrived, but I could see all the adults try especially hard to be kind to her, especially when she started to cry for her mummy and daddy who we were told had gone to heaven. One day, two months after she arrived, she had thrown a tantrum so big and so ill timed that my parents had lost a big contract they had been trying to secure all year long.

“Go to your room, you brat!” Mum had yelled angrily at her.

I could hear her crying silently from my room that day so I snuck into her room to comfort her. That was the cement on our friendship. From then on, we were inseparable. I was her big brother and she was my little sister. Every time she threw a tantrum, which was quite often, I was the one they called to calm her down. 

Remi had been incredibly stubborn and it didn’t take a blind man to see that Mum was slowly getting to her wits end with her. I remember asking Mum one day why she was so mean to Remi and she had simply sighed. One day she was so bad, Mum sent her to her room and asked her not to come out till dinner.

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you all!”  She had screamed. “ I’m going to find my parents and leave you!” And she had tried to.

It was late evening when Bella came running to tell us Remi had run away. Bella had followed to stop her but she had shoved Bella away. Ten minutes later and a pack warrior on guard had brought a bruised and battered Remi to us. Saved from rogues.

When she woke up the next day, she was confused. She told us Bella had shoved her and run away but we knew better. Mum was distraught. Dad was silent. I was enraged. How dare she try to run away and then frame Bella! Most of all, I felt betrayed. It didn’t matter that I had gone out of my way even as an eight year old to make her happy. She was going to run away even after promising we’d be together forever.

The bright side of the incident was the head trauma that for some reason erased her earlier memories. No more crying for her mummy and daddy. She didn’t remember them. I didn’t understand why but we had been told she’d get her memories back, but Mum had instructed us never to tell her. If her memories returned, good for her. If they didn’t, good for us. And so it had been.

“Nobody likes to stay in a place they aren’t wanted, “ Logan said gruffly.

“You’re alive!” I couldn’t keep the excitement at bay. Sure, I knew he wasn’t  dead. He couldn’t die without me dying but I had been so worried!

“Not yet,” He snarled. “But without Remi, we'd soon be dead!” He obviously wasn’t even beginning to get over his anger.

“I know. I messed up.” Big time. I had ruined everything.

My dad couldn’t even look at me without disgust anymore. I had been forced to move out earlier than planned. Thankfully, I was already getting a fully furnished house as the alpha. My coronation had been three days ago and it was only made possible because of my mum. My dad was ten seconds away from pronouncing me unfit to be alpha.

I tried to delay the coronation. I really did. I didn’t want to be made Alpha without my mate beside me, but I had found her already. There was no excuse short of my stupidity to stop me from assuming the position. Whether she was by my side or not could not hinder our customs.

I took a stroll to the woods Clara told me she had last seen Remi, hoping to find a clue that would lead me to her. There was nothing there. I walked to the closest cafe to the woods to pass time. I planned to check the woods again.

Bella was there. I growled low. It didn’t take a rocket scientists to detect Bella always following me about and it pissed me off immensely.

“Hey baby,” she threw herself at me once I walked through the cafe doors and it took the six pairs of eyes that glanced our way to stop me from shoving her off me.

“I am not your baby. The next time you touch me I will rip you apart, limb by limb.” It was Logan.

“Yes A-alpha,” She tried to sound flippant about it, but fear coated her tone.

A waiter passed and I swear, I could catch a faint whiff of Remi's citrusy scent but I shook my head. He was human. Frustrated by both Bella and the waiter that smelled like Remi, I stalked out of the café and made my way home.

The drive home was uncomfortable. I had to constantly blink away memories of Remi that my subconscious had somehow stored away. Like how her eyes would light up the few times mum ever made cinnamon rolls, how she would smile sweetly at Mason whenever she saw him, much to my annoyance, how sweetly she kissed and how hot I got when she grabbed at my hair. The car was suddenly too hot.

Mason was sitting on my porch when I got home and I groaned. Even though I had repeatedly given him a black eye for being a know-it-all, he still never failed to remind me of how he always told me to treat my ‘sister’ better.

“Is that a cucumber in your pants?” He blinked innocently at me and I gritted my teeth to keep from socking him in the jaw.

“What do you want?” I snapped but he didn’t even flinch.

“I’m here check up on you or can’t I? Seeing as you don’t have a mate to do that. Oh wait, you do! But you drove her away!”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I was zero point five seconds away from charging at him when an excited voice shouted.

“Alpha! Alpha we’ve found your mate! We’ve found our Luna!”

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