Life Is A Game: YouTube High | Book 1 [A YouTubers X Reader FanFic]

[22] It's all my fault...

The (H/C) girl collapsed on her bed sobbing. It's all my fault... I should've known... Now she's gone... There's no going back... She put her arm over her face, and looked at the now fading cuts. She sighed. Tiffany looked over at her depressed roommate, sighing quietly. "(Y/N)... It's fine...". No it's not fine... If I had helped her, now she would've been dead... (Y/N) sobbed. "It should've been me...". Tiffany stood up. "No it shouldn't! You're a great friend and the best girlfriend (YT/O/C) could ever have! I can barely think of a day without you!", the purple haired female said, slightly shaking. "A-and even if you want to commit suicide...", her voice cracked, tears formed in her eyes. "I-It's selfish... Y-you don't think about the people you'll leave behind...". (Y/N) choked back an ironic laugh. "It's sad really that the only reason I haven't killed myself yet, is because I don't want to hurt anyone, but the reason I want to kill myself is because everyone's hurting me...". Tiffany looked down, sitting back on the bed, and rested her head in her hands. "(Y/N)... You've got us... We're all here for you... (YT/O/C) loves you more than anything... And... Y-you just can't leave us like that...". (Y/N) felt her eyes becoming watery again. Tiffany looked up at her and spread her arms. "Come here...". (Y/N) ran into her hug without second thought. Tiffany hugged her tight and rubbed her back. "Shh... It's ok...". (Y/N) sobbed into her roommate's shoulder, when (YT/O/C) burst in. "(Y/N)!! Are you okay?! I heard what happened!!", he yelled, running to her and embracing her in a warm hug, being so careful, as if she was going to break. He kissed her tears away. "(Y/N)... baby... I'm here now... Please calm down... It's alright... It's not your fault... It's ok...". She hugged him back, but still no evidence of a smile...


It's been a week, and things have been darker than before. (Y/N) almost never slept or ate, wanted to be alone and... self harmed... Of course it's my fucking fault... Slice. If I was there she would be fine... Slice. Why would anyone like me anyway... Slice. Another friend lost... Slice. I shouldn't exist... Slice. I just... Hate myself... She dropped the razor to the floor and sobbed. She looked at the five fresh, bleeding cuts she made. Nobody likes a girl with scars... So... Why him... She sighed. She had kept everyone away for the entire week, skipped classes, stopped making videos and just... did nothing... Her phone ringed, and she looked at the ID. (YT/O/C)... Even if everyone did as she said, leave her alone, he wouldn't stop spamming her. She hesitantly picked up. "H-hello...?". "Hey (Y/N)...", by the sound of his voice, anyone could understand that he just... wasn't okay. "Y-you ok...?". From the other line, a sigh could be heard. "I'm just worried baby... You've been all alone for a week... That's not good... You're not helping yourself with that...". She sighed. She knew all too well that she wasn't helping herself, but still... "I-I'm sorry (YT/O/C), I-I have to hang up...". "(Y/N) wait!!", he yelled through the phone, before she could hang up. "What...?". "C-can I come over...? M-maybe we can... You know... S-stay together for a bit...?". She chuckled lightly, knowing what of a cuddler her boyfriend was. "Okay...". He smiled, making a small victory dance. "Thanks! I'll be there in a sec". He said hanging up.

There was a knock on the door. She walked over to the door, and answered it. And there he stood. (YT/O/C). He hugged her tight. She flinched, holding back a cry of pain. His smile faded, noticing the pained look on her face. "(Y/N)...", he sighed. "Show me your arms...". She looked away, trying to avoid the question. But he was determined to find out. He gently grabbed her arm, and pulled up her sleeve. He gasped, his fingers tracing carefully over them. That was the point he broke down. "(Y-Y/N) w-why... I-I told y-you t-that we're h-here for y-you so w-why...?", his voice shaky, his teary eyes looking into hers. "P-please p-promise me... Y-you'll s-stop hurting y-yourself and l-love y-yourself even m-more...". She burst crying in his arms, nodding rapidly. After a while, (Y/N)'s eyes got heavy and soon fell asleep in his arms. He picked her and put her on the bed, laying besides her. He kissed her forehead, hugging her close. "I love you..."