Best Friends? (Camila/You)

Part 41

                  

A/N: IM BACK GUYS AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER FAM, ITS GOING TO BE UNBELIEVEABLY HEARTBREAKING AND YOU ARE ALL GONNA HATE ME BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Best Friends- Part 41

"Ariana Grande and Y/N L/N engaged?! Photo's posted online from the couples sweet reunion at LAX last Saturday clearly show the pop Princess and her bad girl counterpart sharing a beautiful reunion after Y/N's impromptu trip to Miami with best friend's Lauren Jauregui and Camila Cabello, but what we didn't expect was the getting down on one knee?! And the clear look of shock on Ariana's face proved our suspicions right. This video clearly shows that Y/N is in fact proposing to her girlfriend and long-time friend, isn't that adorable-"

I shut off the T.V and released a loud groan, my proposal had been all over the news and gossip shows for the whole week and quite frankly I was sick of hearing my name. I threw the remote on my bed as I waited for Ariana so we could go to our PR meeting; the proposal had caused a scandal in some ways, people weren't sure if it was true love or a publicity stunt, the truth is, I didn't even know what it was.

I would be lying if I said my proposal wasn't out of anger or spite for the green-eyed beauty that clearly occupied my mind and heart but I would also be lying if I didn't truly love Ariana and could possibly see a future with her, I say possibly because for the past week all I've been thinking about is Lauren. Lauren hadn't talked to me in a week, I didn't know if she knew but how couldn't she? It was literally everywhere and yet I didn't get a call or text, half of me even expected her to show up at my door and slap me but nothing, not a single whisper uttered from the girl.

A part of me was upset that Lauren hadn't said anything but I knew Lauren and she didn't like confrontation but damn she could yell and get in my face like no other, so why wasn't she absolutely livid with me? Did she just not care? Had she given up? I wasn't sure but I was scared nonetheless, I was scared about what my future held, I was scared that I wouldn't be able to marry Ariana, I was scared that Camila would never come back into my life again, in hindsight I was an utter mess.

Camila now, Camila was an entirely different story, she didn't want anything to do with me, after I proposed in front of her that day she told me she never wanted to see me again, that everything we ever had was truly a lie and she didn't need that kind of shit in her life. I begged her to stay, I told her I was sorry a hundred times and that I truly did love her with all my heart but she wasn't having it, she slapped me so hard I swear my mother could've heard it all the way in Miami. My mind was filled with Camila after that, my heart was broken and I was scared of losing her all over again, I didn't want her to go, I didn't want her to leave us behind because I still loved her, every part of me loved that beautiful girl who taught me how to love at such a young age but I couldn't hang onto for the life of me and she couldn't with me either which was another reason why marrying Ariana would save a lot of heartache.

Lauren and Camila, that's all I thought about, I didn't even think twice about my beautiful fiancé who was over the moon, she was so excited and so cheery, it made me happy to see her happy but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't shake Lauren or Camila. If I wasn't thinking about one I was thinking about the other, I was thinking about how hard Camila was trying to gain my trust back and how I just threw that in her face, I was thinking about how much I truly loved her, every inch of her from her beautiful chocolate eyes to her voice that I used to hear every night before I went to sleep, I was consumed by her at night when I couldn't sleep and all I wanted was to wrap my arms around her, but that was a privilege that had been revoked.

I thought about Lauren in the morning when I would first open my eyes and hope it was her sleeping next to me as awful as it sounds, I wished it was her, I wished it was her head on my chest cuddling into me because she got cold, I wanted it to be her piercing green eyes that I saw instead of the brown ones my future was now intertwined with, I wanted it to be Lauren wishing me a good morning in her beautifully raspy tones but I knew it wasn't going to be, it never was. Lauren was unattainable now, untouchable, she was confined to a life she had created with her beautiful wife and was now expecting her first child, who was I to take that away from her? Who was I to ruin everything? And who was I to take away Camila's happiness again? Who was I to bring her back into a toxic relationship? I was nothing, I had no right and that's why I chose Ariana.