P&P

Chapter Nineteen

"Darcy," I said, surprised and angered by his sudden appearance here. "Shouldn't you be at the restaurant opening with your aunt?" I asked him. "Or breaking up another couple?" I mumbled bitterly.

"May I come in?" He asked me, seeming unfazed by my comment. His eyes were darting back from me to inside the apartment, and I finally relented on the idea that I might get to ask him why the hell he thought it necessary to break up my sister's budding relationship. And, you know, scream at him for it a little bit.

There wasn't much talking within the first few minutes of his showing up here unannounced. I debated on changing into regular clothes a few times while he paced around the room saying nothing, but before I could finally make my move into my room he spoke.

"Lizzie, do you really have no idea what these past few months have been for me?" He started. My eyebrows creased in confusion. Where was he going with this? "I've been fighting a war against myself since the moment I met you that I just can't win. Every thought, every conversation I have, every minuscule thing seems to lead me back to you." I said nothing. I couldn't. I honestly couldn't believe anything he was telling me. "Lizzie Bennet, I think I'm in love with you."

I laughed unbelievingly, if not a little cruelly. Again, I was at a loss for words. He took this as some kind of encouragement, because he wasn't done. Not nearly. Only instead of continuing this "proclamation of love" for me, he spoke of every struggle and every prejudice against me that couldn't seem to outweigh his feelings for me. My lack of money in comparison. My social standing. My "behavior regarding social events", along with my family's as well (especially my mother, though his truth in saying so didn't make me hate him any less, but instead fueled my anger).

"Okay, that's enough." I cut him off before he could go on, because his listing off my faults wasn't about to make me any nicer in rejecting him. Not that I would've tried to spare his feelings anyway. "While I appreciate the struggle you've been through," I started, my voice dripping in sarcasm. "Let me just start off by saying that I've never desired your good opinion. And believe me, you giving it to me after months of fighting against your own "better judgment" doesn't make me want it any more than I already did." He stood still, his face sullen at my words. I was getting worked up, and took a breath to compose myself before continuing. "I hope your previous, more negative thoughts of me can get you through this rejection."

There wasn't as much anger in Darcy's appearance as there was surprise. His blue eyes widened and the color in his face paled. This had just showed me I was making the right decision, especially in not considering his feelings. After insulting me many times during his confession of love, he still expected me to accept him. More than accept him. Love him back.

No such luck, Mr. Darcy.

"I should ask why I'm being rejected in such a manner that condescends me, but it must not be worth mentioning." He said, the anger coming out of him now. When he rolled his eyes, I scoffed.

"Then I might as well ask how you could expect a positive reaction when telling me that you love me against your own will! Against your own better judgment! Against every reason you could possibly have not to love me!" He opened his mouth to speak but I didn't let him. "But I have other reasons to reject you in such a "condescending manner", you know I have."

"Which are?"

"You separated Jane from the only guy she's ever truly cared for! And for what? Our lack of money? Social standing? Every reason you have not to love me, but just look at where you are now." He was silent. "Can you deny that you've done it?"