Gold And Coal (Ryden AU)

1.25 ◇ Dead Hearts

I hope yall recovered from the last chapter, where i gave away the last shred of innocence I had left rip.

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A loud rapping sound woke me up and I immediately clutched my head, which was pounding in an unimaginable way.

A movement on my chest brought my attention to the boy who had made me his bed during the night and blinked rapidly, before becoming fully aware of the situation.

"What the fuck," I rasped, pushing Brendon off me so he fell to the floor, as I realized we were both naked.

He groaned as he made contact with the floor, whilst memories of the night before came crashing back into my head, forcing me to lie back down and close my eyes.

What the fuck had I gotten myself into. Correction: What the fuck had Brendon gotten me into.

Another knock on the door caused Brendon to stir fully awake, which I was surprised wasn't already the case after I had thrown him on the floor.

I watched him get up and swallowed as I saw his naked form.

Bruises covered his neck and hips, and I almost felt guilty if I wouldn't have been so pleased with myself.

He pulled on his boxers and pants and threw me mine as he walked over to the door.

I hurriedly put them on aswell, ignoring my pounding head.

I couldn't catch the hushed conversation at the door, but suspected it was the owner of this room throwing us out.

When Brendon closed the (goddamn) door and turned back to me, he looked at me unsurely.

"Soo..." he cleared his throat. "Are you back to 'this was a mistake, i'm not gay' Ryan or will you finally accept you're the same as I am without two bottles of whiskey," he asked, walking closer to me and touching my still exposed chest.

I didn't step back. Of course, being drunk had boosted my confidence, but I had still been able to control my actions. What I had done was done by me, and not by the alcohol.

Instead, I placed my head at the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss.

After we broke apart, he grinned at me in victory.

"Thank god, you're far less annoying like this," he giggled, hooking his fingers under my belt and pulling me closer.

"Shut up," I laughed, staring into his honey eyes and watching them twinkle back at me.

"Make me," he teased, successfully getting me to connect our lips again.

The kiss soon became a lot more heated and Brendon pulled away, much to my dissapointment.

"We have to go," he explained, picking up our shirts and handing me one.

After I buttoned it up, I followed Brendon out of the room and through the now deserted bar.

The minute we left it and stepped back out of the building, it felt like I had left fantasy world and was violently thrown back into the real world. An avalanche of anxiety crashed upon me as I realized the heaviness of my actions. I had slept with a man.

"Ryan?"

I leaned back against the wall and slid down it, putting my head in my hands.

"This is bad," I muttered, flinching as Brendon kneeled down beside me.

"Ryan, what's wrong?" He asked hesitantly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done this, I'm a failure..." I sobbed, all the lectures I had received through out my life influencing my words.