Always Maybe

The Final Kiss

Merlin looked up at his ceiling, his hand intertwined with Arthur's. He had put glow stars up to illuminate their faces when he turned off the lights. He didn't like the lights. He liked the stars. He liked Arthur even more. Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand. 

"I love you," Merlin whispered.

Arthur smiled at these words. "You keep saying that," he said.

Merlin nuzzled his head into the crook of Arthur's neck. "It's true."

"I love you too," Arthur said. He kissed Merlin's cheek. 

Silence filtered over them. It wasn't unbearable, and anyway, it gave Merlin time to think. He was always thinking these days. Thinking about Morgana and about Uther. About Gwen's dad. About Arthur. He was thinking about everyone except himself, and he was the one person he should have been paying attention to.

"Lance told me you're planning something," Arthur said after a while.

Merlin didn't say anything back.

"You're going to try and stop her, aren't you?"

No reply.

"Can I help?"

Merlin looked at him. "No," he said finally after thinking through it.

"No?"

"No. It's too dangerous."

Arthur laughed. Merlin loved his laugh. He would miss his laugh. "I can handle danger, Merlin. I'm a knight, remember?"

Merlin nodded and found himself fiddling with the hem of his shirt. It was Arthur's old jersey. He often wore it to bed. He found it comfortable and pleasant to sleep in, and he hardly liked being away from Arthur's scent for too long at any rate. The jersey provided some comfort while Arthur was asleep in his own room at the Pendragon Mansion.

"Let's talk about something else," Merlin advised.

Arthur nodded, eager to change the subject anyway. He didn't want to talk about Morgana. "I'm thinking about coming out to my father," he said.

Merlin's eyes opened in astonishment. "Wow. Really?"

Arthur nodded solemnly. "I'd rather have him find out from me than someone else," he said.

Merlin hummed in agreement but said nothing for a few minutes. "Arthur, are you growing tired of me?"

Arthur shifted to look at his raven haired love. "How could I grow tired of you? What made you even think that?" he asked in shock.

Merlin shrugged sheepishly. "We haven't kissed in a while," he admitted shyly. It had been three days since they last kissed. Merlin missed Arthur's lips. Arthur missed Merlin's. They'd both been too busy being in each other's company to notice.

"Three days, right?"

Merlin nodded.

"Guess we'll have to do something about that then."

"I guess so."

Arthur smiled and crashed his lips onto Merlin's. Merlin moaned and instantly kissed Arthur back, and the two smiled to each other before Arthur put his hands around Merlin's waist and pulled him closer. Merlin was on top of Arthur now, and Arthur deepened the kiss, much to Merlin's delight. After a few moments of open-mouthed kissing, Merlin decided he wanted to try something. He grabbed Arthur's ass and held him as they kissed. Arthur, in turn, touched Merlin in the same general area. 

Merlin yelped in surprise.

"Is this okay?" Arthur whispered breathlessly.

Merlin found himself nodding, a smile creeping across his face. "Yes."

He had never been so sure of anything in his life.