Daddy

11. Tests and Apologies

We tried on a few shirts and pants that we spotted here and there but ended up with nothing in our hands. So we exited the store and went to look around some more. Next was Papaya. I've gotten a few things from here. Mainly pants because they're so comfortable. With these I don't really need to wiggle so much to get them on my waist. It's just a strong tug and there you have it. Nice snug jeans that hug my... Ankles. I don't really have a butt or thighs but I have nice, ankles. I then went to the undergarment section looking for some leggings which had a great deal of two for ten dollars. Uhm, who would pass that up? Certainly not me. I spun my body around and bumped into a desk full of undergarments and undergarment sets. My eyes quickly spotted a black set and I picked them up slowly stunned at how beautiful they looked.

"Oh! Honey. If you're looking for lingerie we could go to Victoria's Secret. They have better and more stuff." My mom popped out of nowhere. I put the pair down and blushed. "I mean, mom, I have no reason to put these on."

She smiled at me. "You don't need to have a reason to wear nice lace underwear. You can wear it just to feel pretty."

"Mom, one, that's a reason, and two, I don't need underwear to feel pretty. I already have someone who does that for me." My mom made a funny face making me chuckle.

"Look, we're making our way to that lingerie store whether you like it or not. So go and buy what's in your hand. I'll wait for you outside." I nodded and went to the line that had two people. As I waited in the line I looked at the few fragrances and candies they had to sell but I didn't find any interest in them. Soon enough I was in the front of the line putting my stuff on the counter.

"You look very familiar." I looked up to see a guy around my age giving me a look like he was wracking his brain for something. "Are you in my science class? With Ms. Barry?" He asked me.

"Um, fifth period?" He nodded and then his eyes widened a bit before they crinkled at the sides as he smiled. "Yea! I've seen you around a couple of times. I think we did a group project together. Of course Jamie did all the work because you were always so tired and I just didn't want to do any of it because I was fried. With the whole gym thing and chemistry before fifth. God this school is a total waste. Honestly, they really just go over the same thing from last year but add more numbers and letters here and there. Being homeschooled would be so much easier for everyone." The whole time he spoke I just nodded with my lips pursed together.

"And then all of the tests are coming up. I'm so glad to be a fucking senior. Just so I can exit this see and slay that motherfucking beach." He threw his head back and I widened my eyes. "Like my sister says, if you can't slay the water, you better be sure to fucking slay that breeze." He snapped his fingers.

"Yea, um, my mom is waiting on me so if you could just-" I tried to make him hurry.

"I bought the new Kendall Jenner lip kit and I swear to Jesus himself, I have never looked so bomb and felt so bomb A-F. I'm not really into makeup but it was this blue one I think. I swear I wanted to go to the club and suck a daddy's-"

"O-okay. Look can we speed up the process?" The guy agreed and started scanning my items but continued to speak so much. "So I told him, if you don't fill my Twinkie with your cream then we can't be together." It confused me because I didn't even have that much stuff. I guess its because he stopped after every item. Finally he finished and I couldn't be more happy. I paid him what I owed and he handed me my bag.

The only thing I know for sure though is: I would never see a Twinkie the same again.

"Hey who was that guy? He was pretty cute." My mom asked once she was at my side.

"I don't know but he likes Twinkies." Mom laughed. "You like those too." I shook my head and made a hoffified look. "Not anymore I don't." My mom shrugged it off and we walked down the store to see a new store but decided to grab something to eat first. We both chose Italian so we got a box of pizza to share between the two of us. We sat at a table and began eating.

It was quiet between us as we ate with the occasional smack my mom did when the hot pizza touched her tongue. Then a question popped into my mind.

Why am I even talking to her like nothing was ever wrong?

She may not have physically abused me but someone else did and she just watched. I really shouldn't even be with her right now. I should be at home. Or at work. Not at the mall with the woman who treated me as something less than. "Why?"

She dropped her pizza and looked at me puzzled. "Why didn't you do something? All the times that he hit me. All the times he embarrassed me. All the times he made me feel low." Mom sighed and drank some of her lemonade.

"I couldn't. Even if I wanted to. They were holding me back. Your father. The alcohol. The drugs. It seemed like it was okay. But believe me, I'm trying to get off. I really am. I want to get a job. A good one. So that I can save some money and get an apartment next to a university so that you can go there after highschool."

"You know that won't change anything right? I will always love you mom but deep down I will still see the woman that watched me get beat by her husband." My mom closed her eyes and breathed a bit.

"I know honey. And I will still try to be there if you go through anything. I will be your mom. Not some drugie married to an alcoholic, little dick, fuck face who abuses women to get him off. I will be there."

I nodded. "I just want you to help me. Stand up for me. I think I've done it too much already." Mom let out a shaky breath and nodded.

"I'll be right there. From now on."