Grade 11 - Made it into the National Championships for soccer. I was so happy and proud of myself, Out of 33 people, I was one of 11 to get chosen.
I wasn't really a fan of school but it's life you have to deal with the shit. I was lucky, Monday and Tuesday's were shit days, Wednesday's Thursday's and Friday's were wicked days.
Wednesday's - Art 2x periods, then a break, Drama 2x periods, then lunch, YR 9 Program 2x periods, then home, I loved those classes.
Thursday's - Photography 2x periods, then a break, Sport 2x periods, then lunch, Gym 2x periods. then home.
Friday's - 2x periods of YR 9 Program, then a break, then 4x periods of gym with lunch and then home.
I had soccer practise at 5-7pm every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.
My life was good, although I only lived with my Mom, She was never home though so being an only child got boring but I was very independent, I wasn't used to affection but I will admit I secretly loved it.
2 Months Later I had my Nationals Championship. Best time ever!
We won, all matches and the final!
11pm came, I had just gotten back to my hotel room, decided to call my mom to tell her the news of winning.
Conversation -
Me- Hey mom! Guess what! WE WON!
Mom- Sobbing, Congratulations hunny!
Me- Mom what's the matter are you crying?
Mom- Darling I need you home as soon as possible please, I have to go I love you.
Me- No mom whats wrong I love you!
The phone hung up. I've never seen nor heard my mom cry, I ran down to my coaches room and told him something has happened and my mom needed me home asap.
He drove me to the airport, I got on the next flight back home, I arrived back into Sydney it was 7am, I grabbed my bags and went and found my car, I got in and drove home as fast as I could, speeding a little bit due to the stress.
I get home and saw my mom crying.
Mom! What's the matter I hugged her while she grabbed my arms and pulled me to the recliner, sit down hunny she sobbed, I was shaking.
"Grandma passed away 30 minutes before your game" I wanted to see you win I couldn't tell you over the phone, I'm so sorry darling.
I dropped to the floor crying,
My grandma was my rock!
She was my solider.
She was my role model!
I knew she was sick,
But not that sick!
My mom picked me up while I cried in her shoulders.
A week later was the funeral, I cried all day.
I was becoming very unwell and wouldn't eat, I wanted too see grandma one last time. It was too late. I was suicidal.
My mom was worried sick about me and sent for counselling.
After about 6 sessions of counselling, the counsellor saw a big improvement, I felt a lot better.
She asked me if there was anything else I wanted to talk about.
I thought I'd ask for advice on my "sexuality."
I explained to her my feelings towards girls and that was the best thing for me.
As we talked more about my sexuality we both felt I wasn't straight nor Bi-Sexual. I was Lesbian.
But how was I going to come out to my family and friends?
