Animal Theater

Abuelitas

Non-Violent Territorial Expansion

Phase 6: The 'Statehood for Baja' movement.

Pacifica should not dictate anything to Baja's new autonomous authority. We should remain hands-off for a substantial period as the conflict with the Mexican government and US forces settles. During this time locals who fought alongside Pacifica Guard soldiers, protecting their homeland, should slowly come to advocating statehood for Baja. The business community will see the potential benefits and lend their support, as will some key leaders of the anti-imperialist movement.

A political party with statehood as a main platform should also offer things the locals desperately want/need. Better sewage/infrastructure, new schools, and more effective water filtration. This party should be reaching the height of its popularity by the next election. In that election it is crucial that the party that favors statehood comes to power.

And that's where we hit a snag.

Because polling showed that we were going to lose. Apparently many locals took a lot of pride in being Mexicans, and they weren't in a hurry to become the newest state in the newest country in the world. Unfortunately we couldn't just rig the election like we did in '46 because the French, the always helpful French, had agreed to monitor, and they were taking the job very seriously.

This is why I was on the phone to Rebecca Delany. "What you need is real polling," she said, "the numbers you sent me suck. They tell me nothing except that you're going to lose. If you want me to come down there and salvage the campaign you're going to have to bring in Reliant or CalPol. It's going to be pricey."

"Money's no problem." I said.

"I'll remember that when we talk about my fee," she said. "Who's bankrolling the shindig?"

"People who want to win at any cost, let's just leave it at that. This is a project we've been working on for seven years, it all goes to shit if we lose."

"May I ask the obvious question?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"What does Pacifica need with Baja anyway? It's mostly just a big desert, right?"

"Yeah, mostly." I said. "It's seen as strategic I guess, in security circles. We can control a new border along the Colorado river basin more easily, and the navy wants the gulf of California. Also it nearly triples our coastline which is good. And that desert? That's a solar farm that could power Los Angeles. Anyway, just look at a map, it's a much more visually pleasing shape if Baja is part of Pacifica."

"Okay," she said. "If it'll make Pacifica a more visually pleasing shape, I'll do it."

And so the campaign nerds marched south, led by Rebecca, who had single handedly turned around the Dixon campaign. CalPol set up shop in Tijuana and got to work figuring out how people were likely to vote and why. I was in Cabo, trying to locate some new polling screens that had gone missing when Rebecca called. "It's the abuelitas," she said. "Women age 62-80. The fastest growing voting demographic in Baja. The male vote is split three ways, the Mexicans, the independent staters, and our voters. It's not moving. This election will be decided by the abuelitas."

"So our man has to start courting the aubuelitas?"

"Yeah and it's not going to be easy," she said, "he doesn't poll well in that demo. Our thinking is that he needs a high-profile endorsement from someone who does very well in that demographic. We're thinking of someone who owns the abuelitas."

"Don't keep me in suspense."

"Have you ever heard of Michelle Marcos?"

"Talk show host?"