Shawn Mendes Imagines

Tragedies to regret

Shawn's P.O.V.

Beep...beep...beep...

The beeping noise fills the silence of the white and dull room, being here just makes me explode with guilt. The only sound being the beeping of the heart monitor that's keeping my hope alive. It's all my fault, if it wasn't for me Y/N wouldn't be in this mess, she wouldn't be hanging onto her life because it could easily slip away from her grasp. I never would've thought that something like this would happen, she doesn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve suffering from my mistakes. However, unknown until now I've been making her suffer for years. 

One week ago

It was a beautiful day in Vancouver, and my girlfriend Sierra wanted to go on hike with me that afternoon. I loved how peaceful the scenery was, the beautiful tall pine trees and mountains surrounding us. We stopped by the edge of a cliff to admire the beautiful view, it was just the beginning of summer and the weather was incredible. 

"It's so beautiful...I can just stay out here forever" I gazed out to the bottom of the cliff where water ran through the river bellow. 

"Yeah it's nice..." She rolled her eyes after she said that. Lately she's been really annoyed and I have no idea why.

"Hey, are you okay Sierra?" I could feel that she was hiding something, she wasn't her usual self.

"Yeah completely fine"

"Are you su-" we heard a twig snap and our heads darted towards the bushes. Someone came out of the bushes and I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Y/N?" I haven't seen her in so long. Before Y/N left for university, she told me that she was in love with me. I told her that I didn't feel the same way about her, so every time she tried to contact me, I ignored all her messages.

"Shawn..." She spoke softly. Her voice sounded like a whisp of the wind, it was so fragile, so broken.

"What are you doing here?" What are the chances that she would be in the same spot in this forest that Sierra and I were in?

"What do you mean? You texted me" she looked so confused, but I was as well. I never texted her, the last person I texted was my mom and we just talked about our day.

"No I never texted you..."

"Okay you two can stop being so confused, I'm the one that texted you on Shawn's phone" Sierra spoke up with a smirk stretching across her face.

"Why would you do that?" I had no idea what was happening, why would she ask Y/N to come?

"Because I'm not satisfied with how things are Shawn. I can't stand the feeling that maybe, just maybe Y/N will interfere with what we have. So the only solution...well it's to do this" and with that being said she pulled out a small gun from the side pocket of her backpack. 

Was this really happening? Was my girlfriend pointing a gun in the direction of the person I used to call my bestfriend? 

"Woah, Sierra calm down there's no reason to be doing this..." I tried to sound soothing, anything to get her to stop pointing that gun at Y/N.

"Why are you defending her? Shawn you're my boyfriend not hers!" She was fuming at this point. Her face was as red as a tomato, and if this was a cartoon steam would be shooting out of her ears.

"I'm not, I just I-I don't think this is the way to solve your problems" now she looked even more angry, angry at me.

"Well maybe I should be pointing this at you then" she spoke evilly as she pointing the gun in my direction instead "since you seem to be on her side"

Y/N just stood in shock, I couldn't blame her though I was in shock myself. 

"Sierra, please don't do this" 

"Sorry Shawn, it's not you it's her" 

Just as Sierra was about to pull the trigger, Y/N jumped in front of me. The world stopped in that moment, I couldn't comprehend what had just happened. My entire body felt numb, while I just stood there wondering if all of this was a dream. Y/N just took a bullet for me, she risked her life to save me. Y/N fell into my arms as I held onto her tightly, afraid that if I let go she'd slip away from me even more. Sierra ran away while I was trying to stop the vast amount of blood coming out of Y/N's wound. The bullet was shot close to her stomach, I didn't know what to do and I was starting to have a panick attack.

"Oh my god, Y/N hang in there! I called the paramedics they should be here soon, just-just please stay with me!" I cried out. At this point tears were spilling out of my eyes uncontrollably, I was doing everything I could to help her. 

 Y/N kept one hand on her wound, to try to stop the blood from gushing out, and her other hand on my cheek. I could care less if there was blood all over my clothes, all that matter was if Y/N would be okay.

"Shawn stop, calm down please" she sounded so frail, like the weight of the world was crushing her.

"No, no! I can't Y/N, you're bleeding a lot" I was trying to something, anything to help her.

"Shawn, I'm so s-sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't been the best friend that you n-needed, or the one that you need. You deserve m-much more than the love I can give you, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for not being able to m-make you smile and laugh. You deserve all the h-happiness and love that the world can offer to you, so please just enjoy life to the fullest and be happy." By the time she was done talking, I broke down sobbing holding onto her for as long as I could. She was bleeding so much, the rapid speed of blood flowing out was too much for me to stop. 

"Y/N I'm so sorry that this happened, j-just hang in there for a l-little longer" she was still stroking my cheek, but whatever she did it could still not soothe or calm me in any way.

"Shawn j-just promise me that y-you'll find someone who can treat you b-better than she c-could. I l-love you more than w-words could ever d-describe, but y-you don't and w-won't feel the same..." 

And then Y/N closed her eyes. She was unconscious. Her hand that was once stroking my cheek fell to her side.

"No...no...NO! Y/N stay with me! Please just stay with me..." Tears were streaming out of my eyes like a flowing river. I felt like nothing in this world could ever make me feel okay again.

Present

She laid in this hospital bed looking lifeless and as pale as a ghost. I couldn't help but feel as if this was my fault. If it wasn't for me, my crazy ex-girlfriend wouldn't have shot her. If it wasn't for me she wouldn't be in this mess. And if it wasn't for me she'd be happy. This is all my fault and I can't do anything about it. She deserves to live and be happy, she doesn't deserve to be put through all this pain and have her life on the line. 

I can't go back in time and stop her from saving me. If I could, I would do anything to save her. I would tell her how much she means to me, and how much I miss her. I would tell her how much I love her. How I've always loved her, but been too afraid to be in love with her. How I've been afraid that she'll leave me as soon as I've fallen head over heels for her. Afraid to let her know that she's the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and grow old together. I'm just hoping that she wakes up, so I can tell her how I've felt for so long.

***

A/N Hiya guys! I've had the worst PCD because I saw Shawn perform at the ACC on Sunday, and now IM DYING. HE WAS INCREDIBLE MERCY LIVE IS AMAZING! I'm pretty sure that I can only write sad imagines with almost the same kind of plot. I also procrastinate a lot and I'm really sorry, and I tend to say that a lot. Don't worry though I have like five other drafts and I hope that you guys enjoyed this imagine even though the ending is bad and this was rushed!

-Georgia

08/24/16