Empathy ; Komahina Oneshots

Hopeless Sanctum Pt. II

Nagito continued through his day as he passed the lunch quarter. He had sat outside with Hinata against his better judgement. They had talked about nothing in particular and playfully bantered, all in good fun. His fascination with the male only grew along with the tugging of his heartstrings. He did not quite understand what it all meant for him, or even if the other felt that same tug. However the date of his death still never appeared above him. And he still could not make sense of the vision he had received once he made contact with his skin. That vision seemed blurry to him now, slipping from his subconscious slowly. He was quickly forgetting about it with every minute passing, and it made him baffled. This problem had never happened before, in fact he could still remember quite a few of his own class mates deaths. For example, Mioda would die from strangulation, Koizumi would die from a wound to her head with a blunt object, Saionji would have her throat slit, Twogami would die from being impaled, so on and so forth. He remembered the deaths easily and was reminded every time he saw or interacted with those classmates. However he was only shown that person's death once, so even if he did touch Hinata again, he unfortunately would not be able to see the vision again. He cursed himself for letting it slip from his mind so quickly, however he knew that this was not all his doing.

"Yo, Komaeda!" A voice shouted, snapping him out of his thoughts and bringing him back to reality around him. Hinata-kun was standing by his desk, hovering over him with his hand on the desk. His eyes drifted up to an olive shade of green, filled with concern. "Are you alright?" His eyes were filled with concern and worry, two emotions Nagito was used to seeing. He chuckled, "Ah I'm fine, Hinata-kun!" He waved his hands and smiled, apologetically almost to which made Hinata frown. "Are you sure? You know you can tell me what's wrong, right?" Oh of course, but if I told you that I can see when and how people die, would you really believe that? You'd think i'm crazy, and cast me aside, hoping I get put in the looney bin...not that I haven't been there before. And it's not like I haven't been institutionalized either, but what you don't know does not kill you. He thought bitterly, but continued to smile. "Of course! But I promise, I'm fine."

In actuality he was surprised that he was still sane anymore. He thought he would have been enrolled in a mental asylum long ago, however Nanami-san was kind enough to take him in and act as his guardian. Of course, he still wanted to kill himself, that urge had never changed, however Hinata complicated things. He complicated everything now. It would be harder to kill himself of course, because of Hinata's concerned behavior after the bathroom incident. He would be constantly asking to come over, much to the annoyance of Komaeda because he didn't want Hinata to find out anything. He didn't want him to find out about his parents. He didn't want him knowing about his time in an orphanage. He didn't want him to know about his diagnosis, that didn't affect him anymore. He didn't want him to know about being institutionalized. But most of all, he didn't want him to know that he was now a monster. He was what people would consider abnormal or peculiar. He didn't want Hinata to be scared of him, because he was one person Komaeda truly trusted.

But then the looming threat over his head was his luck cycle. If he got too close to Hinata, then there was a likely possibility that he could get hurt or, worse, die. He could not allow that, not...again. Hinata couldn't get too close, otherwise Komaeda will have to go through his daze of paranoia, a daze he never enjoyed but lived nonetheless. His constant fear of someone close to him, one he cared for and loved, dying because of him was something that haunted him. It was one of the reasons why he always stayed at arm's length with his classmates because he always had the looming threat of his luck, and it was scary.

Now that he had signed a contract with Nanami-san, he was immune to his sicknesses like his lymphoma and dementia, however that did not mean his thought process had changed. He still believed he was utter scum and completely worthless. He was not immune to pain, in fact now his senses were enhanced. The pain in his head and nose was doubled, almost tripled even. They were throbbing horribly.