The Meaning of Charlie Armanio

VI

DETECTIVE CLYDE SAID HE'D keep in touch after the interview. He was honest with me that day when he told me that what we had gathered that day wasn't enough to catch the assailant quicker because there were no first hand witnesses to the crime. But before I left he asked if I was ready for a really exciting couple of months.

"I thought you said everything was private," I said to him after he explained that exciting meant attention from public eye like press, and journalist, "I don't want many people to know about this."

"Miss Ashford, it's going to get out there eventually," he said, walking with me out of the interview room, and into the main waiting areas where my father was sitting cross-legged waiting for me. When he saw us heading his way, he stood up to meet us halfway there and quickly put his hand on my shoulder, "that is, if you're planning to go as far as possible to catch this guy."

"I'm willing to go as far as possible."

I decide that today, after school, I'm going to head down to the hospital – like I do every day – to fill Charlie in on everything that has happened and then, I'd read Jasper's letter to him. It's become a thing now, somehow Jasper had told some of his Chess buddies who told other people about the letters and Jess had told her Cheerleading friends who had proceeded to tell other people about it and now most of the school want to give letter to Charlie.

They also built him a shrine. His locker, a few steps down from mine, was teeming with different coloured stick on notes and was decorated with flower pots filled with ginormous and proud tulips and daisies.

"Chloe," Mr Bryan calls bringing my attention back to the class, "if you wouldn't mind coming up and reading your essay." I throw him a contrite look that clearly states that I haven't been paying attention and he repeats, "last night's homework? I called you to come up and read yours to us."

"Oh," I giggle nervously and blush a little when a few people start to laugh, "of course."

I'm so ill prepared for the class that my necessities including my homework are still packed inside my bad and zipped shut. People are whispering and giggling as I grab my reading glasses and my ruled book and head up to the front.

"Just to make sure," I click my tongue and turn to face Mr Bryan, "the homework was..."

He smiles at me, and raises his eyebrow, "to turn a popular work of art into your own."

People are still laughing. It's a bit quitter now but it's nothing foreign to my ears, they've been laughing at me since I started this high school almost four years ago. I must admit it's strange, because since Charlie was admitted into the hospital it stopped, for a while no one was making fun of me or Elle – not that I've seen her around the school much – but it felt kind of nice.

But I guess even guilt wears off eventually.

"For my assignment, I chose to remake the poem Howl by Allen Ginsberg," I fumble to open put my glasses on and place my book on the desk as I try to find the page I had written my homework.

As I'm looking through the book, it slips down the table and onto the floor. Everyone starts laughing.

"Be careful there," Penny, I assume, starts and I already know what will happen next and I close my eyes and try to brace myself, "Chlo – wee."

She says the end with a dramatic gesture at her crotch – like finally letting something flow. I'm mortified as the class erupts in laughter again. I didn't use to mind, but I do now and it takes everything in me not to burst out crying.

Mr Bryan tries to quieten the class but this senior class –if they're anything – is persistent.

'Chlo – wee' started my sophomore year of high school, after one terrible lunch period. I had forgotten the lunch Naata had packed for me so I decided to grab a soda from the vending machine because I had this thing against owing people stuff – whether a favour, money or anything. I never owe anyone anything, and I've always intended on keeping it that way. So I grabbed my soda from the vending machine and it had had quite a shake, so when I opened it, the liquid splashed all over my crotch.