Fine

Seventeen: Emptiness

It has been two or three weeks since I last saw Max, which was when he had to practically carry me home, get yelled at and get blamed for my condition that night by my ma. To say the least, we didn't end the night on good terms. He tried to get in contact with me, but I needed a few days to think of an excuse which then turned into weeks since Ma wanted to spend as much time as she could with the both of us, which was the most she has gotten to spend with us the whole entire year. It also didn't help that for Christmas Ma bought me a handful of books, most of which were the first book to different series that later led to several trips to the library and the book store. It's a pitiful excuse, I know, but I just couldn't see him or talk to him in any shape or form, but after realizing how many days have gone by I decided it's best to get this done and over with. Besides I don't want whatever is between us to end.

So, I send him a text hoping he'll respond, but I don't get my hopes too high since I have been ignoring him throughout the holidays. I set my phone down and continue reading my book from where I left off, and just when I am about to send him another text I get a message from him saying:

hi

My heart slightly drops at his one word answer, but I understand. I reply with:

do you think you can go to the diner today? it's important

I don't bother reading anymore since I'm literally on the edge of my seat waiting for his reply that refuses to come. I start to bite my nails, a habit I haven't done in a long while, but I quickly stop when I realize what I'm doing, so instead I begin to pace back and forth in front of my bed where my phone is laying. I even resort to cracking my knuckles, an act that I absolutely hate doing because of  the sound and feeling of it.

I glance at my clock. It reads 2:13. I sigh as I come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to see me today since it's been ten minutes since I last sent him a text. Just as I am about to raise my flag I hear a beep coming from my bed. I look at it and see a flashing light coming from my phone indicating that someone has sent me a text. I rush over which technically isn't difficult since I am only a few feet away from my bed, and I check the message that Max sent me. It reads:

okay. when?

I send my reply:

now?

A minute later he responds with:

k

With a new burst of energy I jump off of my bed with my phone in my hand and slip on my shoes and pull on an oversized sweater before I run downstairs. I'm about to exit when I hear Ma clear her throat from behind me, and I whirl around to face her while my hand is on the door knob.

"May I know where you're heading off to?" she asks with her right eye brow raised for questioning.

"Diner," I say quickly in the same speed as how I got out of the house and down the street before Ma could tell me that I can't go out.

With my phone clutched in my hand and my arms hugging my body for warmth I power walk from one street to the next keeping my gaze on the ground to avoid eye contact. I don't need to keep my head up anyway since I know my way to the diner like the back of my hand.

Along the way I can't help but wonder if he'll snap at me for avoiding his calls and texts and his repeated questions. I'm sure by the way he responded to my texts a few minutes ago that he isn't happy to see me and is reluctant to even go to the diner. As I near a corner I begin to regret ever asking him to meet me the more I think about him being upset with me. I stop right before I walk around the corner that is the street where the diner is located at.