Far Too Young To Die {Book One}

Chapter 6

"Can't we just wait five more minutes?" I pleaded. I wanted Jon to show up and come back onto the bus. There was honestly so much regret running through my mind right now from volunteering to step in. I was quite terrified. Singing on stage was bad enough.

"Hannah, I'm sorry, but we're already behind schedule. We can't waste anymore time waiting here for him.." I let out a sigh and Spencer spoke. Maybe stepping in for Jon would be the next step as a job? I could be a bassist in a band. Though honestly I don't know if I could actually do that. Album art was always an option. Completely different direction than a bassist, but whatever. I could do that.

As my mind was wandering about, Jon just so happened to walk inside the bus. A look of pure anger was resting on his face. I didn't know whether to be worried or relieved. But I went with the relieved option.

"Jon, you're back!" I get up from the couch and wrap my arms around him in a hug. But instead of the sweet hugger of a person Jon was, he pushed me away and went to sit as far away from everyone as he could.

"I did it for the fans. Not any of you." My cheeks burn up as I sit back down a little embarrassed. Brendon gave me a small smile as if to say 'Everything will be alright'.

Once again I was hoping and pleading that this was all just a dream. Correction. Nightmare. I just wanted all of this to be back to the way it was when these men didn't hate each other.

~~~

The ride mostly consisted of eating in silence, sleeping, and crying. Not in that order, and not very fun on my part. But I don't blame the guys, they're all having issues with one another. But I couldn't help but to feel bad for Brendon the most. I mean, he got punched in the face and was screamed at because he 'changed' and was 'bringing everyone down.' If you ask me, I'd say it was actually Brendon trying to be the one to keep everything together. Next to Spencer that is.

And when all of this was over, I'm never going to see these men again. But worst of all I don't want Ryan to lock himself away in his room all over again. This band meant everything to him. He was so happy doing this. I was happy watching him do what he loved. And I couldn't think of it any other way. I just wanted him to stay, I wanted to be around the guys while they're smiling and actually talking to each other.

This bus ride was a bit torturous with the awkward silence flooding into our ears. My mind couldn't focus on anything as my eyes rested on Brendon. He was just sitting there, seemingly lifeless, with him arms folded over his chest. His eyes were fixated on what I assume was something on the ceiling and very now and again, he would squint at it and blink a few times. This went on for what seemed like hours, though it was only probably about forty five minutes.

"Hannah!" Ryan screams at me and snapped his fingers in front of my face, taking me aback from my thinking. I look up at his face, which seemed annoyed. "We're here. Finally we got you're attention. You were staring into the distance for forever." I look from Ryan to the chair that Brendon had previously been sitting in, but he was no longer there.

"So," I quickly changed the subject, my head shifted downwards as I tried to avoid Ryan seeing my cheeks turning a bright red. He knew exactly what I was staring at. "Where exactly are we again?"

"We are at a hotel that I booked for us not too long ago. Thought we should rest for the night in some actual beds and eat some actual food. And then we're going to head off again first thing in the morning. We have a long road ahead of us." Ryan walks away and steps off the tour bus, leaving me alone. I wasn't aware that everyone else had already gotten off. But I follow him anyway.