Don't be Ashamed (A Larina Fanfiction)

V

I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, but seeing nothing in the complete darkness. My body ached and it felt like a layer of filth coated my skin. Eden laid next to me; he'd fallen asleep hours ago. All I could think about was his voice and he he demanded "you deserve this." He was right. I did. I didn't deserve him. Sure, he had his flaws, but at least he was faithful. I could never keep that promise to him. Throughout the three years we'd been dating, I'd cheated on him more than a few times. It wasn't that I wasn't satisfied with him, because I was. I just felt like I had the right to do what I wanted at the time. But looking back, all I wanted was to take it back. Those men were never worth it.

Disgusted with myself, I got up out of bed, putting my robe on. I walked to the bathroom to wash my face. I leaned onto the counter, sighing, as I looked in the mirror. My makeup was completely messed up, a mixture of dried tears and misplaced makeup sat on my cheeks. My hair wasn't much better off. It was knotted and messy. 

Inhaling deeply,  I turned on the foccet and started my nightly routine. After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I combed through my hair, untangling each individual strand. I knew that I should have went to bed, but it's not like I would have slept anyway, so I walk out of our room and head downstairs.

I sat down on the couch and picked my purse up from the glass coffee table. I got my phone out, seeing I have 2 new massages. One was from Chuck and the other from an unsaved number. Chuck's read: Hey I gave ur number to Marina I didn't think you would mind:P I laughed lightly at her immaturity. The one from the unsaved number was an address. I saved the unknown number as Marina, but didn't text back considering it was 3:44AM and she was probably asleep. I'd thank her in the morning. 

There wasn't much to do in the middle of the night; my bordem let my mind free to wandered. I thought of the way Eden treated me. From the outside, I could see how someone would think that I'm a victim, but both of us know that we aren't good for each other. I hurt him just as much as he hurts me, if not more, I just does a better job at hiding it. 

For about an hour I just sat on the couch, I'm the same spot I had hours ago, but my thoughts were disrupted by my phone buzzing. It was Marina.

M: so you leave me on read? 

I giggled. She was so sassy.

L: I didn't want to wake you up. I was trying to be nice

M: how sweet<333 

L: Why are you even away at 5: 30 in the morning?

M: I couldn't sleep. What about you?

L: Neither could I 

M: we're meant to be

L: So much chemistry 

M: I'm looking forward to seeing you again

M: it will be lots of fun

L: Yeah me too:) 

M: how are you doing? 

L: I'm pretty good. How are you?

M: I'm kind of tired but good. What are you up to?

L: Nothing much just wasting time 

L: What about you? 

M: drinking some coffee, petting my cat, the usual 

I smiled. She was cute.

L: Yes cats are the best! I want one so bad:(

M: you should get one there's lots of homeless cats out there it's a waste of you not to