started with a lie ➳ raura revised

Chapter Thirty

After a couple hours and after the small percentages of alcohol slowly drain from my body, Ross decides to drive back home. Now that my mind and heart isn't so clogged up from before, I'm starting to get a panicked feeling. There are many things wrong.

1) Joel. Enough said. And I'm sure Zac will be a problem, too.

2) Even though it's my birthday, my mother is in the hospital and apparently Madam Jong might be delusional thinking that my mom is her daughter-in-law.

3) What the hell was I thinking confessing my undying love to one of the richest and youngest billionaires in the world that I had met through a lie and that has a fucking fiance?

4) I don't regret anything.

But then here's Ross—stupid, gorgeous Ross—who is shirtless once again. He's driving crazily, with us speeding down empty roads and his le hand out the window. The wind makes his hair fly and he looks so young and...alive. This is probably the youngest, craziest thing he's ever done and I don't want to ruin it. But I have no choice.

"Ross, stop the car," I say. I hate being the party-pooper but my worries are driving me up the wall right now.

"Okay," he replies, grinning. Ever since I told him I loved him, he's been smiling non-stop. I could tell him he was on fire and he would smile and say okay. He doesn't even question why I asked to stop in the middle of the road at night.

Thankfully, this time he pulls the car over to the dirt side instead of stopping smack in the middle of the road.

Ross runs a hand through his hair, still grinning, and asks, "What's up?"

My insides squeeze at his carefree happiness.

"Um, what are we doing?" I say, looking down at my hands. I'm going to back out if I look at his face and I can't do that. We have to actually think this through for once.

Ross looks around. "We seemed to have stopped in the middle of an abandoned road." His face turns back to mine and smiles, his eyes hoping. "Did you want to make out?"

I raise my eyes at him and shoot him a glare. He's more hormonal than I am.

"No, Ross, I did not want to make out." Ross frowns, starting to pout. "And I meant, what are we doing? As in us? You love me and I love you but I don't think that'll be enough. We're so different. You have a fiance and a company and so many things to take care of. I don't want to burden you."

His face turns serious and his left  arm drops from the window. The breeze runs through his hair again. "Laura...."

"I mean this seriously, Ross." I push back strands of hair behind my ear. "Today was fun and it was everything I've ever wanted and more but...what about tomorrow? You have to go back to work and I'll eventually have to go back to school and graduate. You'll have to return to Tracy, and I'll have to return to my mom. We can't be together."

What do I want him to say? What answer am I searching for?

"Laura," Ross says again. His hand reaches over and takes mine and I am ready to give it up. To say screw reality and let's live in our fantasy forever.

"Ross," I say, mirroring him. I let him take my hand.

"I meant everything I said." He looks down at our hands and runs his thumb over the lines on my palm. "When I say I love you, I mean it. And I say I'll fight for you—I also mean that."

"But, Ross, it's not going to work. Lying about our relationship was one thing but now that our feelings are real...I'm...I'm afraid." I understand now. I'm scared. I don't want him to leave me and I don't want to leave him but even if he does fight for me, it's going to take more than words.