The Liberosist

Part Seven

Part Seven: "If you pick a flower and put it in a vase, it will die; you can't expect something to thrive where it doesn't belong."

Gemma says to inhale hope and exhale doubt. But Louis is an unreadable puzzle that radiates doubt, yet stays, and gives me hope, and every little inch he gives feels like a mile... but then he turns and closes down and I feel myself being dragged down, too. The dark eyes that I refused to become are slowly drowning me, and I am very, very scared.

Is this what it is to fall? To be in love, you must lose all of yourself? I thought I wanted this, but I am not so sure; to love and be loved in return must I lose all that I've worked hard for? I have spent years with my head high because I knew who I was and to want to be anyone else would just be a waste of what I already am.

My garden is dying, because I have exiled the ones who watered my flowers. Where will my head be when I no longer have rose-colored vision?

I am walking home with Louis now, and he is still silent, and I am drowning in the silence and his dark eyes and I am afraid, but I know that I am fearless because I am afraid. So I take his hand, and tell him to follow. Miraculously, surprisingly, thankfully, he does.

We arrive at the little tiny meadow next to a destruction site, because I love my ironies. I dramatically spread my arms and say, "I present to you, my special little irony. Look how easy it is to destroy while these flowers are working so hard to bloom and create. Amazing, isn't it?"

"Why did you bring me here, Harry?" Louis' face is bored, but I know he has to appreciate it deep down. He has to.

"Sometimes the weight of the world likes to crush the flowers in my mind...and the world likes to distract me from taking care of my garden, so..." I picked the little bunches of white flowers and thread them into my brown hair. "Now I have flowers around and outside of my head, and I will not forget."

"They're just weeds."

"We both know that weeds have worth. Besides, they're only 'weeds' because someone decided to name that, just like they decided to name me heartless." I lightly brush my smooth arms as he scoffs in disbelief.

"You've killed them just so you could feel better."

"Hold on..." I smiled, because I was meant to. "I thought they were only weeds to you. Why do you care if they die?"

He smiles, because he knows he has been caught. But then he scowls, because he knows he has been caught. But it's too late. I have seen his dimples, and now I know.

"Louis Tomlinson, you were meant to smile."

He does not smile again, but he stays.