Conceal Him

10. Together

A/N...

HEY GUYS

So I'm gonna update now obviously lol but yea I'm gonna start off exactly where we left off in the previous chapter.

Also can we talk about SLFL the second leg so far -_-

These idiots kill me so much i think they want me dead cause Luke just looks hotter and hotter each show and don't even get me started on Ashton's hair :))) he looks so fetus. *cries*

I wish I could go to another concert so bad!! But sadly I'll have to wait.

Well that's it I guess lol see y'all at the end!!

-Jess XX <3

I slowly let Mar go after what seemed like about 5 minutes of just hugging her. I had no idea what I was gonna do next.

Mar's Pov. (Finally)
Luke had just told me that he loved me. I guess Ashton was right. But I don't get it how could he love me after 4 years? We've only spent a week together and he already is opening up his feelings to me. I know I've had feelings for him in the past, but I don't know anymore. I need more time to figure everything out. Luke let go of me finally and I looked into his piercing Blue eyes.
"Luke... I love you a lot. But I'm not sure in what way yet. I had feelings for you before you left and I'm not denying that I was hoping you felt the same way. I know this sounds all cliché, but it's been 4 years Luke and I just need more time." Luke wasn't saying anything. He just looked at me with a sad expression on his face.
"Luke say something, please." There was a long pause once again before he spoke up.
"Sorry I just wasn't expecting that reaction. I guess I shouldn't have told you I'm sorry." He had a raspy tone to his voice that only had when he was upset.
"Please don't be upset."
"How can you expect me not to be upset Mar?"
"Luke-"
"No don't say anything. I knew I shouldn't have come back. This was such a stupid idea."
"No Luke your taking this all the wrong way please just hang on a second-" Luke was starting to walk out of the room. I didn't know what I was going to do he got mad really easily sometimes when we were younger and I guess nothing has changed.
"Luke please don't be like this!" He stopped right where he was standing. He spun around on his heels so he was facing me. His eyes looked a shade darker than the usually did.
"I need to know if you feel something."
"Feel something when you do what?"
"Anything. Do you feel anything when we're together?"
"You know your like my best friend and nothing can change that."
"Well I guess that answers my question."
What did I say? I only said that he was my best friend what could I have said wrong this time?
"Luke!" Tears were streaming down my face. I didn't want him to see me like this. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I called the only person I could trust to help me. I dialed Ashton's number quickly and put it up to my ear. I breathes heavily between sobs when Ashton finally picked up.

Ash:
Hey Mar what's up?

Me:
Can you... C-come pick me up?

I could barely talk since I was crying.

Ash:
Mar? Where are you what's going on? Are you okay?

Me: I'm at Luke's. I-I'm in his bathroom and we had this b-big fight... I don't know what to do.

Ash:
I'll be there in 5.

The line went dead and I set my phone next to the sink. I was breathing even heavier now. I could feel a panic attack coming and there's no way I could stop it. My medication that would help me calm down, at least until Ash got here was in my purse. But that was on the couch and I didn't wanna go out and risk running into Luke. I didn't really have any other choice but to try and calm myself down in here. I tried talking deep breaths but it was hard since I didn't have anyone to help me. A few minutes passed and my phone vibrated on the counter. It was Ash and he was waiting outside. I quickly unlocked the bathroom door and ran out to grab my stuff.
"Mar? What are you doing? Mar please don't go I'm sor-" I didn't give the voice which I knew was Luke time to finish before I slammed the door and ran to Ash's car. I opened the door and sat down.
"Oh my gosh Mar what happened?"
I looked at myself in the rear view mirror to see that my eyes were all red and puffy. My breathing was still heavy but not as bad as it was.
"Can we go to your place and I'll t-tell you there?"
"Yea. As long as your okay for now it's only a few minutes drive."
"I'll be okay."
A few minutes passed and we pulled up into what I assumed was Ashton's driveway.
"Okay we're here."
"Thanks for coming to get me Ash.  I'm feeling a bit better now."
"Anytime Mar. Let's go in." I truly was feeling better, but my breathing wasn't 100% back to normal and I don't really understand what just happened between Luke and I. I followed Ash into his house and over to his couch, where we both sat down.
"So do you wanna explain what happened? I'm not gonna pressure you if you don't, just maybe it'll make you feel better."
"I wanna talk about it."
"Okay... Go ahead I guess." I took a deep breath.
"Well Luke just told me he loved me, then he got all mad because I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about him and then I started to get upset cause he got upset and there was just a lot of things he said that made me nervous and I was just so scared and I didn't know what to do and I called you and-"
"Whoa calm down Mar. Your starting to make no sense here." He chuckled and let me continue.
"Sorry it's just a lot happened and it's hard to process. I'm not even sure if I understand it yet. All I know is he's really pissed at me."
"It sounds like he was expecting you to fall instantly in love with him, and your just not ready yet. Luke can be a real dick sometimes." I laughed at Ashton's comment and played with the ends of my hair.
"Just give him time. He'll get over it. And until then you can hang out with me Cal and Mikey!"
"Thanks Ash. And this is probably annoying driving back and forth but can you take me home?"
"Well it is a lot of effort, but I guess I can." He was acting like a 5 year old. Luke always did that and it was completely adorable.

*skip when Ash took Mar home*

I walked up to my room and flopped onto my bed. I let out a heavy sigh and looked at my clock. It was still only 5 o'clock, but I was ready for bed now. I went to my bathroom to take off all my makeup that was now everywhere because of all the crying. I saw my blade laying right next to the sink. I picked it up and looked at it. I slit once into my wrist not even thinking.
"No..."
I didn't realize I said that out loud until I heard it eco through the house. I didn't know what I was doing. I know I should stop. I threw it across the floor and ran back to my bedroom. I put my pillow over my head and groaned. I laid there for a few seconds before I heard my phone ringing. I answered it not even looking at the caller ID and of course, it was the one and only person I didn't want it to be.

Me:
Hello?

Luke:
Can I come over?

Me:
No.

Luke:
But Mar you know how I get sometimes, and I'm sorry.

Me:
I don't give a shit.

I hung up the phone quickly and took a deep breath. This was going to be a long night.

Luke's Pov.

I blew it. I fucked up so bad this time. I just can't help myself. When I get pissed about something, I can't control how I act. I just get so mad. I need to find a way to make her forgive me. I feel horrible and I don't know what to do. I should call back, I should text, I should do a lot of things. But I know whatever I do, it's not going to make a difference.

Hi beautiful people!!

Cliffhanger oooooo sorry not sorry! So I guess I'll update in a few days? I'm going to an amusement park tomorrow with my friend so yay for fun!

Well that's about it from me! Bye lovies

-Jess XX <3