Helpless | Destiel college a.u.

19

– Cas –

Dean didn't sleep with me that night and it felt colder in the bed without him next to me. I tried to think up any excuse to ask him to join me, but I couldn't conjure up a legitimate one so he stayed on the air mattress, facing away from me.

Day two of Operation: Stay At Dean's House commenced at around eleven, when everybody was up and ready for the day. Jo, Sam, Dean, Ash, and I gathered in the dining room to decorate our abundant assortment of Christmas cookies.

Jo and Ellen had made two large bowls of frosting and dyed it many different colours for more diversity. They had all kinds of sprinkles; rainbows, chocolate, glittery, every individual colour, star-shaped, heart-shaped, snowflake-shaped, large, small, you name it and Ellen had it.

We all talked and frosted and sprinkled, our conversation ranging from Christmas presents to their other friends, from what movies we should watch tomorrow to how cold it is when you leave the bathroom after showering.

Dean showed me his penis cookie, which he decorated with tan frosting and strategically placed white snowflake-shaped sprinkles.

I rolled my eyes at it, but his immaturity amused me. I showed him my two proportionate human anatomy and one angel-shaped cookies, which made him jealous of my tuned artistic abilities.

Meanwhile, Jo, Sam, and Ash were flying through their decorations, just trying to frost all of them quickly.

Eventually we got tired of decorating, completely outnumbered by the remaining confectionary desserts. All of us had been snacking on the sugary treats surrounding us as we completed the task for the day, so Ellen cut up some fruit for us and Bobby made pot pie as dinner for the two adults, who hadn't eaten their weight in sugar.

While they sat at the table with us to eat, we showed off our cookies like proud children showing their parents their artwork.

"These are all of us." Jo pointed to a row of seven classic gingerbread men, each dressed up differently.

"I managed to actually make a couple of them look good," Sam announced confidently, holding up a shimmery star.

"I didn't." Ash showed off a mess of a cookie and we all shared a laugh. "I'd rather hack a computer or something, though. This artsy stuff is hard."

"It comes easier with years of practice," I reminded him.

"I made a dick." Dean held up his masterpiece for his parents to see. "I'm super proud of it."

"Dean, I thought I told you not to bake that one," Ellen scolded.

"It's pretty accurate." Bobby nodded in approval until Ellen hit his arm to stop him. "I mean... It's explicit, you're too young to know about those kinds of things."

"I'm twenty-two," he said in a monotone voice.

We continued admiring the finished cookies and munched on some healthy fruit, Dean making a face every time he bit into it.

After the parents finished their dinner, we put away all the cookies and got ready for bed early. Sam, Dean, Jo, Ash, and I gathered in the living room to discuss important matters.

"That song is fucked up," Jo laughed, pulling her legs up onto the couch.

"Um, no," Dean argued. "Octopus's Garden is a classic Beatles song."

"They were obviously in their 'heavily reliant on drugs for any sort of lyrics' stage when they wrote that song," Ash added, sitting on the floor next to me.

"So, it's not technically a classic," I disagreed with Dean.

"Any Beatles song is a classic, though," Sam chimed in. "The Beatles is a classic band."

"Not to be confused with a classical band," I commented, making everybody laugh at my sarcastic humour. "Although, I'd say I Wanna Hold Your Hand is pretty close to classical."

"What about Led Zeppelin?" Dean changed the subject.

"Yeah, I'd say Stairway is pretty classical." I shrugged at his suggestion.

"Stairway isn't their only song," he defended. "They have tons of other songs that are underrated and unloved."

"How about Green Day?" Jo changed the band at question again.

"Yeah, Dean, your music taste is kinda old," Sam told him gently.

"Hey, it's not my fault Dad left me all his old music. What else am I supposed to listen to in the car?"

"Maybe the radio." Jo rolled her eyes.

"I'm with Dean," Ash agreed. "Classic rock all the way."

"Guys, stop arguing. Go to bed." Ellen walked into the room, looking slightly disheveled and quite tired. "We're trying to sleep."

"Sorry." Jo smiled innocently at her mother. "Night, mom."

We exchanged our "goodnight"s and Dean and I headed to our room together.

I climbed under the covers in bed and Dean walked over to his floor mattress, laying down on it softly. The rubbery material squeaked with every movement at first , but he somehow moved gracefully and prevented the squeaking.

Laying there quietly, I stared at the ceiling, my mind focusing on the human on the floor in the corner of the room.

What would happen if I asked Dean to join me in bed? Would he say yes or no? Would he be too embarrassed that he might cuddle me again? I wouldn't mind if he did, as long as he didn't mind either.

"Cas," he called up to me. "You gonna turn off the light?"

"Yeah, sorry." I reached over and pulled the chain on the lamp, leaving the room in darkness.

I was left to my own thoughts about Dean. My feelings for him were growing, especially after finding out his new label on his sexuality. I guess my heart still thought I had a chance at persuading him to like me back, but in my mind I knew that he had always been attracted to some men, and he would have realised his feelings much earlier if he did have any romantic ones for me.

Sighing and rolling onto my side, I tried to shut off my mind until I heard movement on the floor. The covers on top of me were pulled down and Dean laid down next to me.

His hand rested on top of mine on the pillow accidentally but he left it there, now lying across from me in bed.

"The floor is freezing," he told me quietly as my eyes adjusted in the darkness to focus on his face.

"What about your intimate tendencies?"

"At least we'll be warm." He shrugged, and I could hear it as his shirt sleeve rubbed against the blankets.

I smiled and closed my eyes, drifting off quickly after that, with my best friend next to me.

the beatles are great but this song is wack