Grievances And Other Things

I can't find a reason to care

It's time to wake up. Ugh. I put my feet on the ground, Satan goes "Oh shit, he's up." and get showered. I run down the stairs, eat breakfast and rush out to the bus stop. The bus arrives, I get on, flash my bus pass and sit down. Time to finish some math homework or else Mrs. Hardbroom's going to absolutely execute me. She really is an awful woman. There's nothing even remotely amicable about her. She is mean, evil, despises students, over all she's not what we call a nice person. Skyler gets on the bus, and I finish my homework just in time. Phew. Dodged a detention there. I head through the doors and voilà. Beacon High, decorated to match the Autumn season, or Fall as it's known here. Naming parts of a year after verbs? Whatever next, naming German cities after nouns? Sometimes the American English isn't as intuitive as it should be, being simplified after all. I swing into class and sit down in my spot next to Chloe. Mrs. Hardbroom's entrance is prefaced by some crows trying to fly away from her. She must be seriously more evil than before if not even crows want to be associated with her. "Good morning you pathetic wastes of space... Get your stupid books and try to make some knowledge enter your thick skulls. Of course it won't work, because you all have the collective IQ of an ant." Ten! Ten seconds and I already feel a bit killy. What a fucking bitch. I take out my book and pretend to work. I really do not want to. I can't find a reason to care about her class if she's going to be such an obnoxious piece of garbage. It's like she gets paid more if she's abusive to her students. Ugh. But enough about her, mustn't dwell on her bullshit if I want this lesson to be over any time soon. I decide to play a few rounds of tic tac toe with Chloe. Nothing spectacular happens in class. I sigh. I never thought that High School would be so monotonous. It's not as glamorous as the movies made it seem. I'm not unhappy, just a little disappointed. But not much. The bell rings, freeing us from the clutches of Sata... I mean Mrs. Hardbroom. Why Mrs. anyway? How did she get a man to like her, let alone marry her? Probably someone disgustingly deep into S&M or abuse. Blatant emotional abuse. I guess there are weird people out there. I get a smoothie and meet up with Penelope, who's going over some lyrics for an original song. "I like the sound of the broken people, I love the screams of all the lost souls, but what I desire most, one of my goals, is to become your demon, your favourite enemy, your best nightmare." She mumbles somewhat inaudibly and coughs. "Shit, I'm coming down with a cold. Fucking hell, just what I need." Chloe pats her on the back. "No worries, I'll sing for you if you can't manage." Penelope smiles. "Thanks." She carries on scribbling. "It's me you'll never want to crucify, but look at me, you wouldn't dare. I'm your best kept secret, your biggest mistake. Love me or leave me, what difference does it make. Leave me or love me, anything more is regret." Sounds interesting.

~~~~

After a successful battle of the bands round, I walk to the car park where my aunt said she'd be. "Hey, Aunt Lissa!" She smiles. "Hey Åle, did you have fun?" I nod. "Sure did, what's for supper?" I get into the car. "Åle, there's something I need to tell you. Your mother called." Aunt Lissa's face loses all smile. Serious business time. "She said your father was involved in a collision with a heavy goods vehicle on the way to work. I'm afraid to say he's in hospital at the moment. The doctors say they're not sure if he'll survive." I can't believe it. I'm shellshocked. All thought processes stop. I can't believe this. My father? He's usually such a great driver. I'm sure he'll survive. But what if... He doesn't? What if I have to fly back to Greenland to be at his funeral? I don't want to see my father dead. I don't want him to die. I'd not stand it. I wouldn't survive it. I'd go into cardiac arrest. A lone tear makes it's way down my cheek. "Åle?" I struggle to speak, but a weak "yes" manages to escape my lips. "Shall we get something at Taco Bell or someplace? I know this is awful for you, but you'll need the distraction." I guess she's right. It'll keep me from assuming the worst for a while. "Where do you want to go?" I don't know. "What'd you suggest?" Aunt Lissa pauses to think. "Well, there's Arby's, TGI Fridays, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Five Guys, KFC... Tell you what, let's go to Wendy's." Sounds good. I'm kinda indifferent though, to be honest. I don't know what to do. The sun goes down, making the sky a dark shade of blue, close to midnight blue. What do I do now? All I can do is wait. But that eats me up. I hope it's nothing bad. I beg it isn't.

~~~~

My alarm clock goes off. It's time to awaken to the world. I don't want to. The world can lick my ass. I get dressed, sluggishly make my way to the table, Uncle Theo pats me on the back, telling me dad'll be fine. "He's a trooper, he's got an incredible immune system. He'll be fine. I'm sure of it." I eat my toast in a lackluster fashion, watch Uncle Theo walk out of the house, and sigh. I have to go to school. I guess it's for the best. If I'm at school I don't have time to wallow in self-pity. But I don't want to go. More than ever, I wish I wouldn't have to go. I guess it's a necessary evil, you need an education after all, or else you'll be an uneducated hobo. In the freezing wastes of Greenland. I shudder at the thought. I grab my bag and head for the bus. I scroll through the songs on my iPod and select one. Boulevard of Broken Dreams. One of my favourites when I'm feeling down. The bus arrives, and I hop on. The streetlights turn off as the bus speeds down the road. As the bus stops at Skyler's stop, I can't find him. He doesn't seem to be there. Huh. Intentional or not? I don't know. Who knows, maybe all my friends are heathens, but I doubt it. It's a stretch. They've all been so kind to me. I should be really thankful that they didn't just toss me to the wayside. The bus arrives at Beacon High and I get off. The school's building seems commanding as it's red bricks rise into the sky. It's a little chilly. Autumn's certainly here. No doubt. I walk into the hall and make my way to Class. "Ah, Mr. Kivjørs. You're 15 minutes late! Why is that so?" Shit. I'm late. That must have been why Skyker wasn't there. I trot to my seat. Holy shit. How did I miss that I was late? Holy smokes. I sit down and attempt to not look into the soulless, piercing eyes of Madame Duibourg. "I missed a bus, Madame, I am sorry." She raises her eyebrows. "Next time, please make sure to take the right bus, oui? I'll excuse it this time, but don't think you'll be off the, how you say, hook forever!" I'm shattered. Dog-tired. Comatose even. I can't believe how exhausted I am. I must have slept absolutely horrendously! I get french class over with and head to the lunch hall with Penelope and the others. They all start talking and chatting, a little bit of gossip here, a dash of rumour here... But I don't know what to add. I don't know what to say. I quietly sit down and keep myself to myself. I don't want to bother them, don't want to make them worried. More worried than I am. I don't want my father to die. "Åle? You okay?" Chloe tugs my shoulder. I must have drifted off there. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Chloe raises an eyebrow. "Åle, I know something's wrong, I'm a so-called female. We kinda have the whole pretending everything's okay thing perfected." I laugh. Feebly. "Oh do you? Well then you'll be wrong for the first time. I'm fine, Chloe. The only thing that's, how you say, up is gas prices and bus fares." Chloe smiles. "Well, I better trust what comes straight from the horse's mouth!" I scowl. "I'm not a horse, thank you very much!" Penelope laughs. "It's a figure of speech, Åle." Oh. Alrighty then. That clears that one up then. I was ready to be offended. Humph. We rush off to the next class and I attempt not to suffer through it too much.