I honestly yearn for death. More than anything else, I just don't want to exist. I am too much of a coward to keep on living. I don't know where my life is heading, and the mere thought of that scares the living shit out of me.
The funniest part about this is that I have no problem with being poor, being homeless, any of it. I don't know what I'm so afraid of. I'm literally garbage. I don't deserve this life. I'm wasting it! If I could give my life to someone else, I would do it. I hate life.
One of my many favorite little comments to make in conversations is "kill me". I even say it nonchalantly in front of my friends at this point, none of them really understanding that I want to die.
The closest thing to a life plan that I have worked out is that I am going to become a severe alcoholic and die hopefully from an overdose of heroin. If not, the withdrawal from alcohol should kill me. That's my hope. I want to fucking ruin myself.
I am a fucking coward.
ESTÁS LEYENDO
Thoughts From A Self-Deprecating Nihilist
HumorA cute, little book about my life as a high school girl. I'll talk about all the important things a high school girl needs to know, like how to talk to your crush, or maybe how to be the cool kid.
