Did I mention that I have mental disorders? No? Well, mentioning this will surely get people to read this. Aha! I have in fact discovered the key!
So, guys, I am going to lie to people on the internet so I can finally feel accepted. I have depression, which everyone else has, so I know that I can belong to a group now.
I'm sure that me pretending to have this disease doesn't at all illegitemize the disease in the slightest. Oh no sir-ee! Nope. I'm just going to be part of a group of edgy group of kids.
Next, I need to mention constantly that I cut myself, so I can get comments to 'stay strong', and all that jazz. I also will mention that just because I'm depressed doesn't mean I cut myself. Stop asking. It's none of your business until I spread it around on this sharing disease called Wattpad.
What to claim next, what to claim next. Oh, I know! Anxiety!
HEY EVERYONE! I HAVE ANXIETY! I SWEAR, I'M LIKE, SO ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS RIGHT NOW! I'M GONNA HAVE, LIKE, A PANIC ATTACK! OH MY GOD! LOL, RIGHT!
Looks like I'm off to a good start, but I know that I could get deeper. I feel like some people might want to hold their pity from me. What mental illness is worse than depression and anxiety?
Schizophrenia!
Oh my God, I'm like, so schizophrenic! I hear like, all these voices in my head, and they're just so mean! They make me like, attack people, and like, change personalities.
Yeah, because that's obviously the only thing that schizophrenia does to you. Oh man, I am nailing this shit here. Oh! I forgot; Tourette's! I'll make sure to add every twitch I have into the writing, too. That will make it more realistic!
So--fuck!--- h-h-how are y--shit!---ou all? I am wr-writing-ng an inspirational st-story ab-b-bout overc---dammit!---coming all of the shit that I'm goi---fuck!---ng through.
Wooh! I can't wait for all of the exciting comments!
No, wait! I forgot about the most important thing to mention.
By the way everyone, read and share my story because I'm dying of cancer. If you don't, my dead body will be offended that you didn't try to help me make the most of my too-short life.
So, comment, share, and like my story, or the voices will change me into a more depressed, anxious, cancer--fuck--ous mess.❤
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts From A Self-Deprecating Nihilist
HumorA cute, little book about my life as a high school girl. I'll talk about all the important things a high school girl needs to know, like how to talk to your crush, or maybe how to be the cool kid.
