The Slave (Free Men, #1) (Completed)

Part 14

                 

Master was away from home the next three nights, an almost unprecedented absence. The first night Kai and I entertained ourselves well enough, continuing his lessons in reading in the sanctuary of my chamber, a fire roaring in the hearth and my bedding pulled around our shoulders. The second night, however, seemed to drag, and by the third he could tell I was moping. We still hadn't discussed what had transpired in Master's chamber on our last night with him, and Kai hadn't touched me since.

"Are you judging me?" I asked quietly as we lay side-by-side in my bed in the darkness.

"What for?"

I scoffed. "You watched me get fucked, and you haven't said anything about it since."

Kai shifted under the covers. "What is there to say?"

"I don't know, but something."

"Do you want me to judge you?"

"No." I bit my lip. Wasn't the truth of the matter that I was judging myself?

Kai turned so he was facing me. I lay on my back, watching the muslin of my canopy waft gently in the circulating air. "Tam.... I don't know what to say."

"You seemed to like it at the time," I said roughly.

"I, I won't deny that." He sighed. "I feel like I'm being manipulated."

"By whom? Me?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. Both of you. But I don't think you mean to do it."

"You're not making any sense."

"Master wants us to have sex."

I nodded.

"That makes me not want to."

"Why not?"

"Because I feel like I shouldn't want to do anything he wants me to do."

"Still?" I turned. His breath was hot and sour across my face. "Kai, how long are you going to keep living like this?"

"I don't know," he whispered, his voice cracking.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him against me. "What if I said I wanted you?" I asked.

"I'd think you were lying to me to please him."

I kissed his head, buried my nose in his dark hair and inhaled his scent. It was a couple of inches long now, with fine waves at the end. It would be a veritable shock of curls when it was longer, and I thought it would suit him immensely. The itchy stage had passed, and all that was needed now was time. His muscles had grown soft from disuse, his body no longer resembling that of a battle-worn soldier, although still slim and compact. He was no longer chiselled in stone, but painted in soft oils, and no less beautiful for it.

"It's not like I haven't seen you and him together before," Kai said.

"So why have you barely touched me since?"

"I don't know." He sounded miserable, and I wanted so desperately to comfort him. That I was the cause of his misery pained me. I thought we'd got over this, that he was starting to accept his new life. During the daytime he seemed happy enough, but we were Master's property, and we couldn't ever forget that fact. We were here to serve him, do his bidding, and fulfil his desires. That Master still hadn't touched Kai was something of a miracle: had he been sold to another, he would probably have been raped a thousand times already, his body broken and beaten until there was nothing left of the real Kai. Yet he still refused to be grateful for what he had.